maxsalad

This goal has been on hold for the last year or so… i cant remember the last time i went out at night with a hammer and chisel… it was probably that time i carved “who are we?” on a wall and this guy chased me down a street yelling “what the fuck are you doing to my wall?“

This is why im on hold… you cant just go and carve on anything…

so thats why im planning on targeting corporate or government property only. no ones really going to be that pissed off with me for that. Sure , i get into more trouble if i get caught, and the chances are higher, but the sense of achivement is greater !

also, i need to get my self into a rhythm with this one, and i need encouragement.. i have alot of self will, but need to know that people appreciate it, otherwise whats the point? well, sure ill have alot of fun, but making a mark that will be permanent for the next few hundred years is a waste of time if no one is going to like it, and even more so, if no one is going to notice it.

This goal is my first goal, and also i sense the most unrealistic in some ways. But as bjork says, I want to prove the impossible really exists.

A Wish

I ask not that my bed of death
From bands of greedy heirs be free;
For these besiege the latest breath
Of fortune’s favoured sons, not me.

I ask not each kind soul to keep
Tearless, when of my death he hears;
Let those who will, if any, weep!
There are worse plagues on earth than tears.

I ask but that my death may find
The freedom to my life denied;
Ask but the folly of mankind,
Then, at last, to quit my side.

Spare me the whispering, crowded room,
The friends who come, and gape, and go;
The ceremonious air of gloom –
All which makes death a hideous show!

Nor bring, to see me cease to live,
Some doctor full of phrase and fame,
To shake his sapient head and give
The ill he cannot cure a name.

Nor fetch, to take the accustomed toll
Of the poor sinner bound for death,
His brother doctor of the soul,
To canvass with official breath

The future and its viewless things –
That undiscovered mystery
Which one who feels death’s winnowing wings
Must need read clearer, sure, than he!

Bring none of these; but let me be,
While all around in silence lies,
Moved to the window near, and see
Once more before my dying eyes

Bathed in the sacred dew of morn
The wide aerial landscape spread –
The world which was ere I was born,
The world which lasts when I am dead.

Which never was the friend of one,
Nor promised love it could not give,
But lit for all its generous sun,
And lived itself, and made us live.

There let me gaze, till I become
In soul with what I gaze on wed!
To feel the universe my home;
To have before my mind -instead

Of the sick-room, the mortal strife,
The turmoil for a little breath –
The pure eternal course of life,
Not human combatings with death.

Thus feeling, gazing, let me grow
Composed, refreshed, ennobled, clear;
Then willing let my spirit go
To work or wait elsewhere or here!

My friend Hannah told me of a very little shift she made in her life that made all the difference regarding this feeling…

She is someone who likes to make lists, and she simply changed writing at the top of her list “things to do”, to “things I might do”.

It seems like a good suggestion, so i intend to remind my self of this as i make my many lists. I can’t do them all!