i felt really crappy the past couple of days – too much pressure from all sides and i haven’t been performing well enough … it just kept going downslope since the end of last week
but today it all just suddenly let go as i was riding the bus – so i thought, what the heck, this feeling shitty stuff is very relative – just because i’m lacking some femtomoles of some neurotransmitter for couple days i should really start giving up and losing interest, walking around like living dead or something of the kind
Dec 08, 2005, 12:30AM PST | 1 cheer | 0 comments
apparently, after quizzing their asses off and demanding an overkill of stuff, i did not turn out to be such a horrible TA afterwards … student reviews were all above average, except that i have been accused of “abusing power” and “biased grading”, but what can you do – power changes people, muahahaha!
Dec 03, 2005, 11:00PM PST | 0 comments
so i went to the gym the whole week and viola! what do i get?—> a more curvy figure! ... so my knees have become 20% thinner but what is above the knees has not thinned a bit, hahaha! ... eh, in the end i’ll get to that 100 lb – it is not hard really if i put my mind to it
i’ve contemplated on why not eating makes me feel so bad – the weird conclusion was that it is not that i’m just hungry and irritated – but it is because the feeling is comparable to near death feelings – anyone had any near death or surgery experiences? – i had a few – and i realize now that my body is very simply “afraid to die” if i don’t eat, which is very logical as strange as it may sound – so the depression, the gloom, the hopelessness that lack of food brings on is very much comparable to the same depression and gloom you feel when life’s slipping out of you – at least it works like this for me
Dec 03, 2005, 10:38PM PST | 0 comments
I'm doing 30 things
