I think my husband really judged me in saying that I was wrong about hearing from God. He said he was 100 percent sure I didn’t hear from God. You know, for someone whom all he does is join in prayer when we eat and if I should pray more than 30 seconds, he tells me to hurry up, not that he can’t hear from God, but I doubt he can say for certain whether I heard from God or not correctly is not for him to say.
What good has come out of my hardships? My relationship with both my parents is SIGNIFICANTLY better, by tons. I got time to think about and change my views on my parents, to appreciate them. Had I continued on my course, I doubt I would have a better but more distant relationship with them me being not compassionate and not tolerant of how they are.
My family has gotten to see that I still have a great attitude, but it’s tempered with greater compassion and love towards other people, and far less judging. I have now become a wise spender, instead of foolishly spending.
Pain is often the instigator to change and I’ve had a lot of pain. Granted, there may be a small minority that needs no pain to change, but most need some level of pain and discomfort to move to something better. I’m no exception.
I got to move into a better neighborhood, safer neighbor and where my dad lives is pretty nice, so the kids can be outdoors playing without me worrying as much.
To be a much wiser spender and user of money, that’s HUGE! So what if you make a lot of money and spend poorly. You’ll lose it all, which I did. I manage my money now tons better. Yeah, the lesson was hard, but never were we homeless.
Those weren’t the only things, I used to think eating healthy cost a lot and that I needed all this STUFF to do it, but I found, you don’t need to and it makes life richer. I’ve learned to be more creative and resourceful. The stimulation of creativity and resourceful were born out of desperation. Is that bad?
Innovation has happened because someone somewhere was unhappy with the state of things and decided to make some changes. I learned how to really spot a good buy and when to have self control and do without.
Anyway, all he can see is I quit a high paying job for what? To be in poverty. What if through this I rise up and become the success I was destined to be and stay there, but had it been the other route, I could be like a Willie Nelson, broke and not in a good place because I didn’t learn how to manage money well, lived in fear, greed and pride, rather than a confidence in God to work not only through me, but others and other situations as I step out in faith, in actions to take hold of what He has for me?
Maybe it was God allowing my own poor choices and allowed me to go through spiritual cleaning (aka Spring Cleaning). You know, I don’t recall being late on my bills through this time and if I was, then I was given grace without any incurred penalties.
How much did I pay in interest for late payments or credit cards during this time? $0. Is that bad? Yes, everything has to be paid for in cash, so I learned to just wait upon God to bring it to me at a price that I could pay cash for or I just didn’t get it.
Not that I want to go through all of this stuff again, but I can see all the good it’s brought me, the kids. And, I had to learn to ask for what I want, to be persistent when I know the answer is ultimately yes, but it required me to push through.
My husband doesn’t see any of this. He doesn’t see that sometimes all we have is maybe $100-150 for food for the month to feed our family of 4 and how God always puts me in the right situation that I never even spend the whole amount we have budgeted and we’re still eating well.
I praise God in both my good and bad times. He is good all the time.