I am a 28 year old mother of 3. I have to live with my dad. My children and I have to move out by next summer and I don’t have the money to do this. I have panic attacks constantly. My boyfriend of 6 years and I are far from stable, but we share my youngest daughter. He is the love of my life. My best friend, but I’m constantly worried. He doesn’t give me peace of mind. I don’t want to be alone. I’m turning into a horrible mother and I’m scared I’m not going to have a place to live next year.
We have dated for near 6 years now. We have a 2 year old daughter. I love him more than I’ve ever known love before. We used to be so perfect until the baby was born. He because selfish and unhappy with himself and everything else. I try to convince him to go to therapy and he doesn’t want to. He is obsessed with sex and wants it all the time which is fine, but I feel like unless he’s getting that he doesn’t want to be with me. He doesn’t call like he used to or want to hang out. I have 2 other children from a previous relationship and I don’t live with my boyfriend. I finally came to the realization that we can be apart and he begged and begged and we talked and talked and I agreed that if he was willing to work on it we would be ok. Then we start fighting again. Now I’m so invested again that it breaks my heart. I’m having panic attacks. I don’t know how to be without him. I’m so mad at him for not letting me go a few months ago when I was strong enough. Now I’m heart broken again. I know I should just not ever talk to him again, but he’s my best friend and the father of my youngest child. I have no idea what to do without him.