mel8899

I have trouble trusting people… I just moved to a new city to be with my boyfriend.. exboyfriend… i know no one but his friends, i felt really homesick and he left last week right before rent was due.. 2 weeks ago he was telling me he wanted to spend forever together, now im stranded here.. i havent told any of my co-workers, i dont want to involve my personal life in work.. i have only told my family.. i dont have any friends around here all the ones i do have through him are absolutly his, and loyal.. i know no one and im not comfortable meeting new people in this state.. i dont feel right telling anyone my situation im afraid theyll feel sorry for me..and its embarassing being pittied by strangers.. i wish i had friends to talk to but if i cant open up to anyone i dont know how its going to happen…
my ex always said i didnt trust him enough always worried that exactly this would happen.. my parents split up when i was young and i have a tendancy of dating the same men over and over through break up and break up i havent been single in 10yrs… im either in a relationship or recovering from one then jumping right back into the same one… i dont know what im so afraid of…..i used to be a very outgoing and ive been burned alot by friends and relationships more so but for some reason ive always gone back…
its not healthy… i need to let people in- we’re all alone but we’re all together in that too.. i just dont know where to start..