aBetterMe

So he sent me a couple of emails over the last month or so. and i just couldn’t pretend like we can be friends anymore. i know for a fact that he’s with someone and he’s trying to be friends with me, i guess.. but i can’t.. so i sent him an email letting him know that i’m not at a point where i think making that step is possible and that i wish to cut all contact for the next few years.

i’m sad that i have to do this, but each time that he tells me about what’s going on in his life, it just hurts me. so from now on, he’s a stranger to me.

I liked it but honestly i was looking for more.. I didn’t freak out, wasn’t scared.. don’t know why but i’m thinking maybe i lack adrenaline.. i need to find something more extreme… (don’t know what though.. )
i might go back, since i only jumped out at 9000 ft (cloudy day, they couldn’t go any higher), maybe jumping out higher would freak me out? dunno.

basically, he’s saying he thinks i blocked him from msn and that he would like to talk about europe (he went to europe and he thinks i went to europe on my last trip – but i went to greece/turkey which i don’t consider as “europe” really.).

anyways, i wrote back, saying i didn’t go to europe and that i didn’t block him from msn that i just don’t use it anymore (I’ve stopped using my main msn account because of him and because of other reasons as well, but i’m not gonna let him know that he’s one of the causes). so he wrote back again asking where i went on my trip. i didn’t reply back to his email.

i don’t know what his intentions are.. i mean i know he has a gf now (but he doesn’t know that I know). i wonder if he’s making contact so later he can rub it in my face that he has moved on with someone.. but he’s not really that type of person. and why would he want to have contact with me? wouldn’t that be a bad move for his new relationship considering they’ve only started dating for a few months (i think they are together for 3 or 4 months top now -> an educated guess)

i haven’t decided if i want to reply to his email or not. i mean what’s the point of being friends with him? his friends suck, and so i wouldn’t want to hang out with his crowd so i wouldn’t really meet new ppl through him (cuz really at this point, he’s just good to make new connections and network). and knowing that now he has a new girl, do i want to know what he’s doing for her that he never made an effort on doing for me when we were together? (not that i think he’d change his ways, but he could act differently with his new girl than he did with me). but at the same time if i don’t respond, he’s gonna think that i’m still affected by this breakup and that i might be bitter (which i am but i don’t want him to think that this still has control over me).. or that i’m just plain rude.