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i hate to admit it i think im having some type of depression. But i dont wanna admit myself. Im the type that likes to look happy in front of everyone, but lately due to some money problems and family ones too, ive been isolating myself alone in a room for about a month now. though sometimes i go out, even when i have fun, i know to myself that it was just forced. even my eating habits have changed. a year ago, i can be a pig when it comes to food. but ever since ive started experimenting on some stuff that i dont want to mention, my eating habits have changed. Though im over that experimenting phase of my life, still the appetite are still less than usual. nowadays, i can past 3 meals even when my stomach aches from hunger, and i just dont care. my sleep has been wierd, sometimes i sleep less maybe about 4 to 6 hours and sometimes i sleep more maybe about 9-12 hours. also when i wanna do some physical task, my body just doesnt rhyme with my mind. my sexdrive also is affected. theres times where i just wanna do it, but lately, its all just forced. guilt is also a big deal to me. its really affecting me emotionally, even when i dont understand why i feel that way. i dont really know whats going on with me, i figured its just a phase. but being almost 20 yrs old,i think i might be having some kind of depression thing. but i dont want anyone to know that i feel this way. i feel paranoid always when people ask me whats wrong. i try to tell them not directly but seems, people around me just doesnt care and wouldnt understand. so i just try to smile and laugh with them, even when im not happy at all. (feels good to let this out) ...