michiato

I have been trying to keep my mind free , Free from tension , pain & suffering ,so as to keep life simple .
But at the end of the day , i am in a dilema on life .
Is my life going fine ? Is somebody trying to downfall me ? Am i loosing it in life ?
Such Thoughts comes into the mind , which makes life not so comfortable .
I try understanding that these thoughts are not required, as my life is going smoothly .
The thing that comes into my mind is , iam not doing anything useful , anything lucrative , not being close to my family when they need me & when i need them & being lazy .

Moreover,as i finsh my work , i feel i need to go home ,relax and enjoy moments with my family, be helpful to them in al ways possible & take rest , but by the time i am home , again negetive thoughts comes in , i think bout my life , my ex gf, if she can live without me , the times when i have hurt her ,i am doing right by not being in touch with her . The things that i could have have done , but didnt , which would have done things better . when such thoughts comes in iam in seriuos dilema & suffering , iam not able to concentarte on the now 7 presene of myself and around .This way even at home , i am not at peace . I seriuosly making it a point to live with peace , love & joy for myself mother nature , my family & life .