mincerti94

I lived in DC and started to play guitar and fell in love with my best friend she was the greatest thing that ever happened. I was feeling amazing i was the closest i ever was with my family and friends it was like living in a dream and my studies in the guitar sky rocketed. But later i moved and had to leave her we decided that to try long distance. we were together for a little more then a year and a half. I would talk to her till dawn but it wasn’t the same, as months passed are relation slowly started to fall apart and then i discovered she was cheating on me, my heart was broken for another year. then i started to do drugs. it started with a weed but then i went chronic smoking weed all the time and thinking about doing shrooms, acid and estacy. But after a while i eventually got over her and realized i was spiraling down. i met some great people in this new place and i started to feel a little better about myself, although the self-doubt never goes away. my friends who introduced me to weed showed me that their are still things to experience and that quality of person isnt decided by the quality of there pee. at this stage im feeling happy its been a year now since i moved but still i feel as though im in a shell i didnt have the same courage when i approach a woman as i did before it was harder to make strong friends i feel as though im a shadow of what i was. I want to get out of this hell which is my mind and recently i was wondering whether it was the weed to blame i hope it isnt because that beautiful herb pulled me out a depression that was going to kill me. I want to love life the way i did before i want to feel like i use to but that doesn’t mean i want to leave this new me either, cause even though i going through a tough time i thinking im out a little better. i dont know what to do any advice would be appreciated