mishipoos

I decided to delete his number, and block and delete him from messenger… i’m living on false hope… i guess thats two steps forward, realisation..

omg i know he still loves me, he’s taking this worse than i am. We have managed to talk things through about what went wrong, and its very clear that we both love each other still so much. However we know that for the best we should get over all this, because going back together right now wouldnt work, we’d just argue again. We both decided that we need to grow alone, like he needs to grow up still and actually want to be in a proper relationship, and well i need to gain my confidence back on my own and discover who i am on my own, ive been in relationships since i was about 13, not having much of a break between them. We decided that if we are meant to be together we will be some day, and it will be when we are both better people. After all we are only 21. I love him so much, and i know he loves me, i know it’s not likely that we will be together again, as people tend to move on… has anybody else split up for someone and then got back with them like few years later and its worked out?

He got hes stuff today i was really upset. But as much as i wanted to hate him and be angry at him i couldnt. I love him but i didnt beg him to stay with me, cuz i realised that’s not true love is about, it’s just selfish. I hugged him goodbye, and let him go. It was really hard and i cried for a bit. We had big convo after on messanger. I felt at peace because i was nice to him, i told him that i wanted him to do something with hes life because ive always believed he could, i also thanked him for certain things and he actually cried and addmitted that there was something making him feel like he doesnt want to get over me. Even though hes the one who doesnt want to be with me. I told him that he has to. By being like that instead of being a total wreck beggin him to be with me or be nasty to him cuz im hurt made me gain back control of myself n my life, and im kinda at peace. I know that i’m very lovable and deserve someone who wants my love, so i aint gonna try stay with second best. I think he is starting to see it’s his loss, but im not gonna rub it in or anything.