missedenlee

Aside from my closest friends, I haven’t found anyone, in a long while, that’s truly worth my while. I want to meet someone pure, someone who finds beauty in the smallest things, someone who finds the greatest pleasure simply in seeing another smile. I’m tired of the same old people, doing anything and everything to sustain their personal existence without any regard to their surrounding. I want to find a person that makes me think in different ways and makes me explore spiritual aspects of myself that I never believed existed. It never has to be a romantic companion, but I want a companion that is different.

There’s an overwhelming sense of accomplishment when you get something right. When the photograph is flawless, with its colors beautifully laid out across the screen, when the strokes of light are paralleled to thoughts that escape your mind, bright and blinding when the button on the camera is silently clicked. Tell me that photography isn’t therapeutic. Art, in all forms, is a way of life; it’s a way of self-discovery.

The world truly doesn’t realize how much beauty it possesses. Different cultures, different people around every bend share and grow together, but as a whole, an overwhelming sense of antipathy reigns. The selfishness of personal advancement, whether it be financial, physical, or spiritual, pushes the thought of selflessness from the mind. I believe that we weren’t placed here to indulge in self pleasures, but moreso to help others realize that they’re not alone, that beauty is present all around them, and its hand is always outreached.

Although somewhat naive, I strive for perfection on a day-to-day basis. One thing that I know I can never perfect, but will try with every ounce of my being, is my soul. I think it’s the concept of perfection that gets me going. The concept that I can never quite reach it, but the possibility of touching it is endless. Every once in a while, I step back and look at myself and realize that I’m not where I want to be in life. I find myself caring for the wrong people, for the wrong situations. For once, I want a neverending clarity of what my duty in life is. I don’t want to stray from my initial goal of helping others. I want the perfect soul, the one that’ll keep me on my toes and keep me striving for something good with every passing day.

My first kiss was a month or two after I turned the big thirteen. He was a boy I happened to adore since my fourth grade year of elementary school, and for once, he finally noticed me. Long story short, he invited me to his house to spend the day, and I reluctantly agreed. Little did I know that that day would be the day he revealed his feelings for me. While I fooled around in his room, I placed his army helmet on my head, and I foolishly asked him how I looked with a teasing scowl on my face. “Beautiful,” he replied, with a shy smile on his face. Not long after that, he asked me a single question that made me warm inside: “Can I kiss you?”

As much as people are running around, dropping all of their ongoings to find that one ‘perfect guy,’ I sit back and wait for him to come to me. I truly believe that everyone gets what they deserve, and at one point or another, life will unfold itself to each individual. I’m still going on about my life, at the ripe age of sixteen, with the hope of finding my one perfect gentleman, but he’ll find me. He’ll come to me. All I need to do is keep on keeping on with what is necessary in my life at this present time and date to succeed later on in life, arm in arm with that one person.