Proud to report that I just stepped on the scale and found that I’ve lost 4lbs. This is exciting to me because its a great start towards my goal. All Ive done thus far is decrease my calories, adding more fruits to my diet, Im not much of a water person but I think its ok that Im getting my water from coke and pepsi 0 (no calories, no fat) its like drinking pepsi flavored carbonated water. This is my beverage of choice on most days but I do drink water too. I’ve also kept the carbs to a reasonable amount, usually from sandwhiches for lunch or rice with my dinner, which I eat in small portions. I’ve snacked a bit on some chocolate candy this week but not in excess.
I’m now incorporating green tea to my diet and will begin going on walks this week too. I’m very confident that I’ll continue to drop the pounds :-).
Results for the Week:
Start weight: 251.7
End weight: 247.6
Last year I had the goal to weigh 150 lbs (basically lose 100 lbs)... but somehow I ended up giving up for the umpteenth time… This year I start again… I’ve decided to try mini-weight loss goals instead of one big one. So the goal is to drop 15 lbs in november. This may seem slightly unreasonable to some b/c we are told that it is healthy to lose 1-2 lbs a week/ 4-8 lbs a month but i need a big boost… In dec ill drop my goal down to 8 lbs but for the 1st month of my diet I would like to go for 15 lbs and since I been eating healthy for the past 2 weeks and damn near running to class everyday Ive probably givin myself a head start.
Two things I need to acknowledge about myself is:
1. I have weak will power… I can cut out fast food but deserts and cakes are my weakness. I plan to get around this issue by rewarding myself 2x a week with healthy choice (the brand) cakes.
2. I hate exercising… but I have no problem walking so Im goin to designate a time for me to go on long walks or use the treadmill at the gym everyday, and only do hardcore cardio workouts only 2-3x a week… I’m more likely to quit if I try to workout too often.
This goal is very important to me because although a lot of guys do find me attractive I dont find myself attractive and its hurting my self-esteem. I love myself as a person, Im intelligent, great personality, fun to be around, good friend to all my friends, and just overall a good person but dropping the weight is something I need to do for myself to be healthy, to be sexy. In all my years of yo-yo dieting with barely any results I realize that I can not put too much pressure on myself, I could be doing great for a couple weeks and then start to fall off and once I do that I become upset with myself, then depressed, which eventually leads to me basically quitting. I just have to do it and if i fall off… allow myself to fall off for a few days and then get back on.
And so here goes the start of try #2 on 43things and hopefully the last. I’ll be updating on my progress weekly… writing too many blogs about my progress makes me aware of all the lil mistakes Ive made during the week and again start adding pressure on myself… I know my goal and I will do it.
Starting weight: approx. 250 lbs
Goal weight: 235 lbs (by nov 30th) <
— I will do it! Having a positive attitude is a very important part of the process!
I’ve been away from this site for a long time… I havnt done a thing to complete this goal, more so because I forgot about it but now that I see it, im reminded how important this one is because it is essential to my career goals! I gotta get to work on this one.
Life is a blessing
Don’t let anybody tell you, you cant
You cant only if you wont
You cant only if you don’t try
Only if you give up and let your dreams die
You’ve got to let your faith override your fears
And the outward impression of your peers
Because even if nobody else believes
The only things that’s true
Is you can do whatever you want to do
Be what you want to be
You can succeed if it’s in your heart to succeed
Don’t let the impression of others
Make you fall
Don’t let time passing be the reason
You call it quits
Destiny has no time limits
Hold your head up high
Keep your faith always alive
Know that beyond the struggle
Everything will be all right
Made in the image of the one above
He makes no mistakes
We are all here for a reason
We are the truth behind power and greatness
Life is a blessing
Lets not waste time being confined
Lets make our mistakes and through it we shall rise
Hold our heads up high
Like Dr. King, we all have a dream
That one day…
That’s yours to say
How it shall turn out in the end
But acknowledge that power and strength all come from within
Don’t let yourself give in to the negativity
Erase all fear
Know all truth
That you have the power to do
What ever it is you want to do
Head held high
Look up to the sky
When you feel the need to cry
Because we all will fall
But reach your hand up
And he’ll surely be there
To lift you to your feet
Undefeated, we shall rise
For the Lord shall be our guide
Its the beginings of an urban fiction/chicklit/romance novel… lots of drama revoloving around love, relationships and friendship. The link is below. Take a minute to read and tell me what you think. Thanks.
This past tuesday I ended up with 2 interviews again. One from an after school and a follow up interview with Starbucks. I felt real confident with Starbucks. It was the same interviewer again and really all she wanted to ask me about was my availablity for training purposes because early morning hours which is what I requested was the worst time for training. So we figured out that mid-morning, evenings, and weekends worked for me and for training. It was a short interview and she told me that she’d get back to me by Friday after she checked my references. Now I had no doubt that I did in fact have good references and I’m still quite confident that she’s gonna give me a call and give me the job.
The second job was for an after school. I got there an hour early so I ended up wondering around the area and getting some pizza. I was soooo nervous, more nerverous than I’d been for any job interview in the past. In fact I hardley ever felt really nervous. When I went in my palms were sweating and couldn’t for the life of me figure out why I was so nervous. I had an interview with two ladies who introduced themselves as directors of something. They were nice but I felt uncomfortable. There was sweat forming on my forehead as I tried to answer their difficult questions. I didn’t think I did a good job mostly because my nervousness was apparent. The thing that I think saved me was the fact that I had a portfolio with me for them to see of my past lesson plans because this was basically a teaching position. Maybe thats what made me so nervous, the possibility of a job with much more responsibility then I’d had in the past. I walked outta there feeling like I bombed and convinced myself that I could still do better.
Anyways I went home and told my aunt about how nervous I was and told me that whenever she was nervous about something it always turned out the way she wanted. I felt better when she told me that because I thought ok maybe it will apply to me but I still had my doubts. Anyways to conclude this long story my aunt was right and I got the call that I got the position about an hour ago. Thank God! I’m so excited, I’m extatic, jumping for joy.
Still waiting on Starbucks which originally I felt really confident about and I still really want the job so we’ll see, she said she’d get back to me by tomorrow, and I’m pretty sure she will. I’m sooooooooo excited and I just can’t hide it :-)
Back Roads by Tawni O’dell… another great read. It is probably the most different book I’ve ever read. I’m used to reading books about black people who live in the city or the suburbs and have worked hard for the lavish life style they have… but this story follows a poor white family living in the country where their nearest neighbor is 3 miles away, the main character is a scruffy 19 year old boy who drives a dirty truck, works two jobs, and is struggling to take care of his three younger sisters now that he has become their guardian due to his mom going to jail for killing his dad. He also has deal with his own demons. This story takes you on ridiculous twists and turns throughout and you never know whats going to happen. But ultimatley its one of the most facinating books I’ve read in awhile.
I’m surprised that its on Oprah’s Book Club, its got some vulger content, that doesnt seem to fit the type of classical toned books I thought Oprah picked.
I get ideas for my story as I’m laying in bed trying to fall asleep and I make little mental notes about it. I feel like I’m actually getting somewhere. I’ve got a prologue and chap 1-3, and half of chap 4, totaling 18 pages single spaced. I’m amazed that I’ve written so much. I never writen anything really beyond ten pages double spaced. But Im loving every minute of this process.
I finally got another after school interview today… it went well, the job is pretty simple, nothing Im not familar with, and she seemed pretty impressed by all my experience so thats def a plus.
I also went to a starbucks open house at the last minute. I got home from the first one, saw the ad was for today and that I still had time to get to it so I went. That also went well.
I feel good about these so Im crossing my fingers. God how wonderful would it be if I got both!
Although I took a short break from reading, from everything really, I started up again a few days ago along with my writing. I just finished reading the Ain’t Nobody’s Buisness If I Do by Valerie Wilson Wesley. Another good book filled with exciting drama. It was like a soap opera in a book, I constantly found myself wide-eyed and shocked at the events. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
That book wasn’t on the Oprah’s book club list but I found it on my aunt’s book shelf which is like a tiny library in itself and it caught my attention. I had originally planned to read Measure of a Man by Sidney Poiter but it didnt hold my focus. Its a book that I can read and can see myself getting into but I was drawn to something else, something fiction. I think I’ll read a few more fiction novels before I go back to his autobiography.
I printed out the list of books that are part of Oprah’s book club and it turns out my aunt has ten of them on her shelf already. It woulda been eleven but I’d borrowed one of them a few years back, only read about 1/4th of it and now I don’t know where it is. It was actually a good book maybe I’ll take it out of the library and read it next.
I’m enjoying my writing a lot. I’m getting into the plot of my story and I’m having fun with the storyline. It’s definatly become something pleasant to pass the time.
I hadn’t written anything in awhile… the past two days I’ve gotten back to my book writing. I created a second version of the first chapter because there were two ways that I could’ve written it and I never explored the second option. I like the second version better. I’m now in the middle of figuring out chapter 3.
I used all my nervous energy which technically is more like anxious energy but I never heard that term used so i dont know. Anyway I cleaned my room and not the straighten it out, make sure it looks decent type of cleaning. I mean really clean, arranging things, wiping down surfaces, folding cloths, vacumming… the whole 9 yards. And now it looks all lovely… my goal now is to make sure it stays this way for an entire month. This tends to be difficult because after cleaning the mess is usually back within a matter of days… so Im hoping to take up the habit of tidying everyday.
Another goal is to do the dishes everyday… my absolute least favorite chore, Ive figured out because its the one chore that has to be done on a daily basis. So instead of letting the dishes pile up in my room ill wash em everyday.
I need to be doing something. Not in the sense the there is something i must do but in the sense that I really wish there was something I had to do. I spent the entire weekend watching season 3-5 of Dawson’s Creek which was very entertaining. But as I watched these fictional characters interact I started to become annoyed with the fact that Im not doing anything. Im actually quite anxious about the fact that Im not doing anything. I want to be working and making money and saving money so I can do some of the things I want to do that cost money. A big part of me is even wishing I was back in school right now yet my plans to restart this semester got delayed until next for reason that are out of my hands. Even traveling to go see a friend costs money and with what little money I have, I have to budget. I think Im going a lil crazy… maybe too much dawson’s creek, maybe too much worrying about money, maybe God knows.
Lord Im trying to breath but its just not happening.
These days my focus seems to be on finding a job. Losing weight has become something I want to do but cant until I know Im finacially secure. I didnt pay my Lucille Roberts bill this month and October is approaching, another bill will be due soon. But money is tight and I havn’t even delt with whatever happens when you don’t pay. Not to say that I cant find another means to exercise if I want to but in honesty Ive lost motivation for this goal until Ive secured a job.
Its Friday… I made the call, she says she was still interviewing and “If I require your services I will call you.” Simply put… no job. I applied to about five other jobs this week. I trying my hardest to keep the faith that someone will call and I will get something. A new month is just days away and I’ve still not completed half of this goal. I need something to happen. In the mean time I am being proactive in calling the places I applied to if there is a number I can call… I got a hold of one place but I was told she hadn’t had a chance to look over my resume and that she would get back to me next week…. I wonder why this process is so difficult? I wish I could see the future, so I can breath again b/c at least I’ll know exactly when the search will be over… but of course however frustrating the search must continue.
I’m very on and off with praying which isn’t good because I feel sooo much better when I do pray. I’m happier, more confident, life feels good. I take the time to recognize all the things that I have rather than all the things that I don’t have, which is what Im doing most of the day. I need to make praying a daily habit.
A lesson plan book will be a necessary tool as I continue to work with children and develop myself as a professional in the field of early childhood. My goal is to come up with a minimum of one a day, preferably 2.
I was sure, I was so so so sure that the secret had brought me the job I interviewed for last week. I got the call on Monday for the interview, I hadnt even applied to that job. The lady said she saw my resume on a website. I thought the secret had brought me this job for sure and that I would interview and start working there. The interview was easy because I have so much experience. I did a 2 day trail run and then I was told she would call me today. I talked as if I had the job and that I had to go to work today. My mother even gave me the money to go cloths shopping yesterday so that I would have enough cloths to wear to work…. And yet today nobody called, I got ready as I did before the past 2 days and no call. So I called instead and she told me she was still interviewing and for me to call back on friday.
Maybe visiting my old job negated my positive thinking, part of me doesn’t know if I want this job, Its not as much fun as my old job and Ive gone as far as to say it was boring but I figured I only felt that way because I was new and didn’t know the children really well. Once I got used to it I would love it, I thought.
I dont know if this is the job Im supposed to get or maybe it just serves as a lil pocket money because I will get paid for the 2 days I worked, yet I dont know how since I never handed in my W4 form. I think I’ll call about that tomm.
So after the interview last week I went in to work Thursday and Friday so she (the director lady/interviewer) could observe me with the kids. I figured I work well with kids, I have experience, but I still got the “I’ll call you on Monday.” I was stayed sure and positive that I would be going to work today and I even got ready as usual. By the time it was dressed it was about 30 min before I needed to leave and still no phone call, so I decided to call myself because I need to know. She said she was still interviewing people and that I should call her back on Friday. What a disappointment. If I was the one, if it was meant to be she would have hired me by now…. Im losing my faith a lil but trying to stay motivated. I can’t wait til friday the search must continue. I figure one thing I will do is keep myself busy, act like I have a job to go to and soon I will have a job to go to. Maybe spend some more time with the kids at my old job, I was told I was free to visit any time.