Torikinz

So the first month I read Twilight. The second month I read New Moon. Here it is the 3rd month and I really don’t know if I have the attention span to pull this off. I did read a book this month but it was only about 130 pages so I feel like it doesn’t really count. I’m going to try to take a shot by reading Eclipse but it’s 620 pages and I have a bit over a week left. Usually Stefs book a run right through but I have too many distractions lately to just sit down and read. Fingers crossed

If all goes well I hope to be debt free by the end of the year. I’ve been putting away an extra $100/month towards my car payment to try to get it paid off this year. I’ve also recently paid of my BoA credit card, and my Discover Card will be paid off next month… yea me! Two down one to go.

I gave him a 2nd, 3rd, and 4th chance. It just never really worked. I blamed myself once, and made excuses for his behavior the other times…. but the truth is people aren’t who they tell you they are, they are who they have always been. Wasted time with the wrong person is just that, wasted time.

I really don’t know why I held on to the few text messages for as long as I did. I guess it just felt comforting to re-read things he wrote like “I miss you”, and how he thought “You are Amazing”. Even if it was all a lie. It was nice to pretend he meant it. That he really thought “fuck it… Marriage?” None of it matters anymore, I guess that’s why I’m finally able to delete em.

I’m actually quite surprised at my ability to get the first 21 books memorized in order. I found some bible book songs for kids online. The one most helpful would have to be the one to the tune of 10 little indians. I also alternated with this bible book rap i found on youtube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uT_yEowtcgY) it helped me with the pronunciation of some of the books. Though I’m still having a heard time pronuouncing Ecclesiastes.

I had no idea how many books were in the Bible before I added this to my list. I knew that Matthew, Mark, Luke, John were the first 4 books of the New Testament. I of course new the first and last books. Also, for someone reason I new Numbers came before Deuteronomy. I never even knew about Amos through Haggai. I can’t wait to be able to recite every book.

You would think by now that I’d be so over “it” but I’m not. I really wish I could not think about “it” constantly, but there (literally) isn’t a day that goes by where “it” doesn’t cross my mind. I feel like I’m dwelling and there have been so many opportunities to try to push “it” out of my mind, but I keep findind new ways to remind myself of “it”. Shawn has been a good distraction… I wish that was enough =/

Really for me, this was just about not caring what he thought anymore. That’s when I was finally able to see… Once I gave up trying to be what I thought he wanted and noticed he was still interested in being around me for me that’s when it clicked. I didn’t have to be anyone other than me. That’s who he likes, me, just as I am.

I did this when I went to Cabo, and it was great. I only wish we had brought our under water camera. Fred left it at home on top of he microwave =( It was great fun though, especially when we fed the fishes and there was like this frenzy. I want to do it again next year when we go to the carribean. I’ think I found a pretty good spot that makes a cd for you of the underwater activities and they have an underwater jail and a few other fun things.

Had a great time doing this. We were in some jungle in Mazatlan. It was 90+ degrees the humidity was ridiculous. I didn’t do too well on the first run. I had to swing around and pull myself in… I did much better then Fred though and he’d done this before. It was really beautiful. It’s physical, but you don’t overly exert yourself. Only problem is that by the time your comfortable flying around, you’re done. We repelled too which was awesome.

So awesome… At first I did not want to do this, but my sister convinced me to try this when we were in Puerta Vallerta. I figured I wouldnt really be into it. We had such a blast. We were out there for like 2-3 hours I got totally sunburned but it was def. worth it. We went through the mud (the best part), crossed a river, and idled next to a bull, it was very exhilerating. After it was all said and done I was talking about wanting to buy one.