momof2sons

The economy sucks and if you are a social worker it really sucks because most social workers are employed at non-profit agencies which are usually the first places to take a hit when the economy takes a dive.

I work in foster care and they pretty much got rid of all of the social workers except for those that have master’s degrees. I started grad school but then Hubby lost his job so I dropped out and got a job and really haven’t been back since.

I’ve looked into going back and Florida State has an advanced program but the next cohort won’t start until 2010, which is 2 years from now.

I’ve always wanted to go overseas. I’ve been to Mexico and Canada and to me that does not count because you don’t really have to take a plane to those places or use a passport. You do now, but that’s different.

I weighed 105 pounds when I graduated high school 15 years ago. Now I weigh 250 pounds. I was ok with the way I look. I mean, I dress nice, I don’t look like a stereotypical fat person. But I get tired a lot. I’m on blood pressure meds. My knees are starting to hurt and I’m only 33. I’m scared of diabetes. I don’t want to take insulin.

I went home for my high school reunion back in June and I know people were happy to see me, but then after asking about my family and my job and etc, the topic turned to my weight. “You never looked like that in school!” I laughed it off and said, “Well, I have a husband and 2 kids so that’s where the weight came from.” The most embarrassing part of the whole weekend was when an old teacher patted my stomach and wished me congrats on my pregnancy. She then asked when the baby was due. I gave birth in March, 3 months before the reunion.

I’ve lost weight before but never could keep it off. I’d get frustrated with the little bitty amounts of food to eat or the lack of tasty but low calorie things. Or I’d get into an exercise routine only to have it be disrupted. I joined a gym near my job a year ago and would exercise during my lunch break and was doing really good but then I lost that job and then gas prices got high so I really couldn’t justify driving across town to work out. Joining the Y costs too much and I’d like to try walking but the neighborhood I live in is increasingly becoming dangerous.

Lately I’ve been thinking about Lap-band surgery. It worked for my mother in law. She weighed more than me and was on insulin and 3 kinds of BP meds. After the surgery, she no longer has to take any of the meds. She’s lost about 100 pounds so far. I’m pretty sure that my MD would make me try again to lose weight on my own. Hubby is not really on board with it. He’s afraid that something might go wrong.