moonlit_reveries

I have very detailed lists and goals up here and that’s awesome, but it’s been a year since I’ve formulated these goals and I’ve changed a whole lot since then and rather delete all these goals here, I’d rather start anew and do the whole process again. I may copy some goals from here but this one’s going to be more in line with me and my current goals.

So watch for a new screen name, I’ll tell you about it when I make the switch

Well, I’m not afraid anymore, but it’s not something I look forward to starting particularly. Driving has so many privileges and I want to get out and go places and my urge to do that has become so strong lately, but I wonder how limited I’ll be by gas prices. Not having the freedom to drive around and exploring somewhere new often takes away a big incentive for me. Though I’ve just about had it with the buses and how time consuming it is. It will be nice to get school easily and having more freedom, even if it’s not as much as I want.

I’m not looking forward to traffic and dealing with jerky drivers (and to some extent I’m afraid of accidents and things out of my control), but I guess I’m ready to start moving forward with this goal. But I’m going to be sure to be kind, sensitive and patient with myself as I take this major step forward and slowly expand my comfort zone.

Sleeping on my side has caused all kinds of problms. I was habitually a right side sleeper and I did something strange with my hands and elbows as well and bent them and this was a big factor for cubital tunnel syndrome. I immobilized the elbow and tried to be a bit more mindful of my sleeping postion. But I soon reverted back to strange sleeping positions, though some of the things I did were new. I eventually started sleeping on my left side and slept with the neck, twisted, often to the right. My contorted sleeping positions definitely seem like a big factor for TOS. Ever since I was diagnosed, and even before that, I started to become way more concious of my sleeping position and my pillows positioned properly and all that. My issue was that in my sleep I move around and often wake up twised or sleeping on one side or another, and consequently, I’d wake up hurting or numb. I consider it progress if I wake up on my back with only my neck turned but ideally I’d be able to fall asleep and stay in a good position. My accupuncturist said that sleeping on one’s side is often done for emotional comfort and that I need to retrain my heart as well as my mind and body to sleep on my back. I’m not sure how I would go about the emotional factor though retraining myself in these ways does sound like a great idea. I have a hard time falling asleep on my back too and that emotional comfort reason may very well be a factor.

Another habit I need to break is falling asleep carelessly with my light on and often with stuff on my bed, and position badly. This only happens when I’m exhausted but still…I just need to retrain myself to sleep on my back and little slip ups like this make the progress slower.

Last night I had a mindset to sleep on my back and fell asleep like that and woke up with only my neck twisted to the right.