moonsitter

People have told me this for years, but I thought it was just them.
Once I realized it isn’t compassionate, it’s just being used, I’ve realized it needs to stop.
It’s time for it to stop today.

I love all the other lists!
here are mine in no particular order. I apologize if there are any doubles, I don’t proofread anything:
1. real smiles
2. art/beauty
3. doing things right
5. love
6. jason
7. friends
8. sunsets
9. the moon
10. feeling healthy
11. positive thinking
12. people understanding me
13. space
14. meditation
15. my rat
16. nature
17. toys
18. reading
19. getting stuff done
20. making other people happy
21. bats
22. getting in touch with sadness through dark art.
23. sex
24. confidence.
25. music
26. dancing
27. thinking about flying
28. exercise
29. cute fuzzy things
30. animals.
31. gaining knowledge
32. feeling intelligent
33. laughter
34. understanding something
35. clear thinking
36. realizing I’m not alone
37. interesting lighting.
38. realizing I’m strong enough to get through anything.
39. thinking of the perfect thing to say and saying it.
40. silence.
41. nihilism.
42. cats
43. uniqueness
44. creativity
45. seeing something other people missed
46. independence
47. distractions of any kind.
48. fire
49. long, warm, bubble baths.
50. finding what i lost
51. games, not mind games. Just games.
52. feeling smart
53. realizing something new
54. interesting patterns
55. acceptance
56. partying
57. having fun
58. technology
59. warmth
60. having my basic needs met
box61. thinking outside the
62. figuring out what is really bothering me.
63. chewing gum
64. silliness, silly
65. my hobbies
66. letting go
67. cartoons
68. porn
69. funny noises
70. seeing other’s succeed.
71. getting another perspective.
72. writing
73. singing loudly by myself
74 finding beauty in unusual places.
75 hugs
76 roses
77 trees
78 other people smiling at me
79 drinking tea by myself
80 singing to my rat
81 comics
82 self improvement (is masturbation ‘fight club’)
83 guys
84 stars
85 finding solutions to mysteries
86 finding cool things (aka dumpster diving and gifts)
87 understanding others
88 bats
89 realizing I have more freedom than I had realized
90 putting my arms out and pretending to fly
91 looking at paintings like these -> devart and realizing my dreams no longer look like that.
92 meeting my ideals or accepting my ideals as unrealistic
93 nonsense, preferably accompanied by a very cheesy accent.
94 nudity
95 getting sudden inspiration
96 finally saying what needs to be said and having a positive reaction
97 getting in touch with the past through old friends
98 yummy or sweet smells
99 reading or hearing a witty comment I can relate to
100 making someone else laugh with me

I’m not able to let very many people in, because I don’t think very many people would be able to understand the real me.