my last entry on enjoying exercise basically covered this. i just joyfully trained for and completed my first triathlon sprint. and i’m ridiculously healthy. my eating habits are crazy healthy: no sugar, flour, caffeine or animal products. tons of fresh and cooked veggies, fruits and whole grains. i feel mahhhvelous!
It started with a 12 step program (called F.A.) that took 31 pounds off and got me dealing with my feelings and reality more by taking flour and sugar out of my system. Then a dream told me to exercise in the early mornings, and I joined a friend’s exercise bootcamp. Loved the people, loved the whole thing. (I’m a morning person.) Next, was surprised by the inspiration to run a race, something I’d never considered or desired. Suddenly, I’m training for a triathlon and having a blast doing it. Completed the triathlon a few weeks ago. What a turn around in my life. In high school, I used to refer to jocks as “jokes.” Little did I know that I had an inner jock. She’s happy-
very happy-she got out!!
I’m going to send the following message in a card tomorrow to the only two people I have been out of harmony with:
Dear __ and ___,
I wish you joy and peace in abundance in 2008 and every year thereafter.
some friends just gave me four hundred dollars. this is the biggest gift, money wise, that anyone outside of my family has ever given me. i burst into tears when i got it because i felt so loved. i’ve been working on giving and on receiving. it feels challenging to accept so much. i will just be kind to myself and sit with my feelings, pray about the whole thing and see what i am truly inspired to do. there are a lot of shoulds in my head about not accepting, appropriateness, etc. but i don’t want to live from convention or habit or fear. i want to do what is the most loving and authentic thing. and that might be saying, “thank you” and moving on. breathe…
to the producer type who asked to see it. i dawdled for a good long while before sending it due to perfectionism. now, it’s out of my hands, but there’s definitely more i can do.
i think that if i do at least one thing every day in support of this goal and visualize regarding it every day as well then i will be lifted up and carried aloft and along by the universe.
i put this up kinda as a joke, i think. but now i really fucking want to do this. i am really f-ing going to do this…
and you want it to be a tv show not a movie, so all is beyond WELL. i love you, sweetheart. you are doing SO WELL. peace and courage and peace be upon you.
a self-talkin’ mama
A draft of the treatment and a multi-season story arc are done and copyrighted. Yay! It’s a miracle for me to be being so creative. Everyone I’ve gotten feedback from-
all people I respect and trust-are enthusiastic and encouraging. I’m following my dream, people. It feels good and kind of astounding to me that I’m stepping up to the plate.
spoke with two folks i want to interview and both were willing to do it! now it’s a matter of setting up the shoots, probably in mid to late August when other projects are out of the way.
also, purchased and received in the mail the external hard drive i will need to edit this and other stuff i’ve been shooting. now it’s a matter of setting up instruction time with friend who offered or to sign up for an editing class or both.
damn, i’m running out of time. i really need to get this done. now, i’ve stepped away from the script and am writing a treatment because a guy who owns a production company asked if he could see one for the show. i’ve been dawdling, but that stops now. i need to move forward and make choices and do it now. even as i write this, my propensity for procrastination is dwindling. it’s going. i’m super productiv and focused. i’m so inspired; the show practically writes itself. it’s all i want to spend time on and it’s what i do the minute i get home and during any and every free moment. i’m blissed out working on it. it’s dramatic and comic gold.
I have fifty eight days to go. I need to keep at it. I’ve found my attention wandering. I gotta go all Little Engine That Could on this thing: I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can…!!
i changed this goal’s wording from “learn to heal more and more.” if you understand that we are all whole and holy already, the reason for this change will be obvious.
Read both of these recently. Am still digging the juvenile fiction, not as a steady diet but as a surprisingly satisfying treat and trip down memory lane. makes me feel connected to my younger self. i’m grateful to these authors for giving me such great writing and characters and-
dare i say it??-role models at a young age.
okay, i’ve gotta say, i think i’m writing something complex, gripping, fun and original!! still more to do, but woo hooo! am really grateful to great HBO shows that have come before, esp. at the moment The Wire because it shows me how much challenge an audience could be up for and even delight in.
well, with some distractions, i’m still at it. as i write, i’m also downloading scripts for shows and especially pilots of shows i admire. so far, i have several characters, but only two of them are fully fleshed out and really people that an audience would enjoy, i think. now, on the advice of a savvy friend, i am mining my own experience and that of others for ideas. thanks for the cheers. i’m still in good shape to accomplish this by the deadline.
also, after viewing The Secret and taking that to heart am visualizing success with this. that mental, positive stuff is REALLY POWERFUL!!
not surprisingly, he was very, very good at this, and the whole thing was deeply transformative. for the rest of the details, you’d have to see me in person. if you’d like such a dream, ask for one. i’m sure he’ll oblige. if you do this, be ready to transform and grow and experience nirvana….
made my choice and it’s coming in the mail!!! am really looking forward to transferring everything i have so far into the correct format and continuing!!! whhhooohooo!
damn! i’m bogging down on something miniscule!! totally not worth bogging down about. i’m hemming and hawing over which software to buy—Final Draft or Movie Magic Screenwriter. once i choose one, either one, it will be a mighty steed to gallop away into small screen success on. but i’m scratching my noggin’ downloading demos, reading other people’s ideas about the two. it’s time to decide. in fact, it may be time to make the “wrong” decision in lieu of no decision. well, i can see i’m blocked in a bullshit way. any suggestions????
all else ROCKS, by the way.
peace out and love in,
okay, since upgrading this to a time-sensitive goal, i’ve been hard (well, kinda hard) at work researching and writing!! in fact, if someone put a gun to my head (God forbid), i think i could crank out some sort of draft of the whole thing in 48-72 hrs. maybe i should try that. thank you, my most recent cheerer on this goal!
well i’m very led by my nighttime dreams…in good directions. and here’s what happened: i’ve had this goal and was working on it with a partner until we became involved in other projects. then recently, i was looking into changing careers and was beginning to think about about a certain healing profession. i researched it online and was giving myself permission and feeling kind of excited by the idea. then, that night i dreamed that cynthia nixon (the redhead on Sex and the City) told me over dinner at a fancy restaurant that i should write a tv show. later in the dream, Larry David showed up and told me the same thing, that i should write a tv show! so, i have several months off from my regular job and a lot of free time. since the dream, i’ve gone back to the whole project. it’s very challenging because the show i have in mind is, ummm, complicated. anyway, i want to move forward and have fun. if i SELL my show to hbo or to anyone, i will give more to charity than i will give if i fail to create and write the pilot for my show by July 14 of this year. okay, that was confusing. thanks for your support!! i really appreciate it!! (PS: my partner released me to continue with all of this independently awhile back…)