I'm doing 36 things
I drank and went out tonight. It wasn’t a good time at all. Felt a little sick a little while after I got home. Fell asleep, felt really sick when I got up.
I haven’t had a bad time like this in forever. I know that I can make myself feel sick just by thinking I’m sick, but it was really convincing this time because I’ve been drinking.
After making myself a bucket, putting a cup of water in the bathroom (just in case) and putting up my hair, I ended up calling Mom. She only heard the phone because she fell asleep on the couch tonight. She talked to me for almost 25 minutes and has me basically convinced that it’s all in my head. Especially because I haven’t felt too bad since getting on the phone. Just shaking a lot and stuff now.
It’s all just because Courtney had the flu the other day here. And it didn’t help that Courtney told me Coady got back to Mom’s and got sick again today. I hate hate hate flu season.
And having this fear of throwing up.. and somehow being able to convince myself that I will be sick, makes me feel kind of crazy. I thought I was basically over this. I guess not. As much as I’d love to be over this phobia, I really hope it is just in my head this time. It’s been so long since I’ve made myself sick by thinking I was sick. But then again I haven’t had people close to me have the flu, so I think that had a big part in freaking me out.
God I wish I could like getting sick.
