naughtyminx78

Finding the Balance



I'm doing 42 things
 

naughtyminx78's Life List

  1. 1. find out who i am
    14 entries . 50 cheers
    380 people
  2. 2. be true to myself
    43 entries . 138 cheers
    425 people
  3. 3. be a good mother
    71 entries . 85 cheers
    788 people
  4. 4. be a good wife
    42 entries . 61 cheers
    597 people
  5. 5. Be a good dog owner
    8 entries . 30 cheers
    3 people
  6. 6. Be a good school governor
    1 entry . 2 cheers
    1 person
  7. 7. Know my desires and fulfil them
    18 entries . 67 cheers
    4 people
  8. 8. make the most of my 30s
    5 entries . 27 cheers
    21 people
  9. 9. Practice random acts of kindness
    10 entries . 35 cheers
    761 people
  10. 10. Live a more Healthy Life
    88 entries . 32 cheers
    24 people
  11. 11. Lose 20 pounds
    1 entry . 4 cheers
    6,653 people
  12. 12. Don't drive when I can walk and don't walk where I can run!
    3 entries . 21 cheers
    1 person
  13. 13. Get back on track with maintaining the blood sugar balance rules
    6 entries . 21 cheers
    1 person
  14. 14. Practice Yoga and Meditation everyday
    6 entries . 21 cheers
    4 people
  15. 15. Master a routine
    1 person
  16. 16. Re-read all my books
    5 entries . 3 cheers
    1 person
  17. 17. Do the 2009 TBR challenge
    6 entries . 2 cheers
    15 people
  18. 18. learn more about history
    13 entries . 9 cheers
    122 people
  19. 19. Manage my money better
    4 entries . 26 cheers
    497 people
  20. 20. Write a will
    2 entries . 9 cheers
    774 people
  21. 21. clean up my house and keep it clean
    3 entries . 6 cheers
    490 people
  22. 22. get rid of all my clutter
    18 entries . 43 cheers
    1,141 people
  23. 23. Organize old photos, digital photos, print and frame photos, etc.
    6 entries . 20 cheers
    44 people
  24. 24. Sort out my memory boxes
    4 entries . 11 cheers
    1 person
  25. 25. remember the moments
    12 entries . 7 cheers
    7 people
  26. 26. Write 43 memories of my Grannie
    4 entries . 15 cheers
    1 person
  27. 27. List 43 Songs that are Important to Me
    12 entries . 25 cheers
    17 people
  28. 28. Do 43 fun things!
    6 entries . 8 cheers
    1 person
  29. 29. Learn to Dance; Take a Dance Course with my Significant Other
    5 entries . 26 cheers
    31 people
  30. 30. create
    16 entries . 11 cheers
    293 people
  31. 31. Learn to use my sewing machine
    4 entries . 6 cheers
    60 people
  32. 32. Send a care package to Tazzy that shows her just how wonderful she is despite my lack of creativity!
    7 entries . 9 cheers
    1 person
  33. 33. go back to the Maldives
    5 entries . 16 cheers
    3 people
  34. 34. drive across America
    6 entries . 36 cheers
    336 people
  35. 35. Fly a plane
    6 entries . 8 cheers
    962 people
  36. 36. learn to sail
    2 entries . 4 cheers
    1,978 people
  37. 37. clear my head
    14 entries . 5 cheers
    23 people
  38. 38. Teach my son to read, write, swim and ride a bike
    4 entries . 15 cheers
    1 person
  39. 39. Help my daughter to pass her GCSEs
    4 entries . 4 cheers
    1 person
  40. 40. Have a 43T meetup in the UK
    8 entries . 4 cheers
    7 people
  41. 41. make a daily "to do" list that i actually follow
    55 entries . 10 cheers
    107 people
  42. 42. list three things every day that made me happy
    133 entries . 10 cheers
    387 people

How I did it
How to have a healthy pregnancy
It took me
9 months
It made me
Happy and relieved


How to help My 43T Friends acheive their Goals
It took me
1 day
It made me


Recent entries
be a good mother (read all 71 entries…)
One thing after another... 1 hour ago

...not sure how much more I can take!

The dilemma earlier on in the week was about K divulging that she is still in contact with the 22 year old man that we forbid her to talk to. She asked for our approval of a friendship and not a relationship and I agonised over it. The guilt I felt about being a bad mother was my consideration of the friendship to give me ‘an easy life’. I knew saying no would let a tornado into the house.

In my heart I knew it was wrong on every level and I could not give my blessing so yesterday I made clear our boundaries. That there is to be no friendship or relationship. It was like igniting a firework in an enclosed space. I have been physically, mentally and emotionally suffering from the burns ever since.

Fortunately, my Mum was available to step in and give me some space and all parties agreed a night at her friends with her responsible mother would give us all a break. Today we sat down with K and made clear that we will never approve of her, as a 14 year old child, having close contact with a 22 year old man….and if she decided to break our rules she will have to face the consequences. It was not an easy conversation but I felt we made some progress and we even managed hugs and ‘love yous’ later on.

The this evening I get a phone call from the friend’s responsible mother upset because she discovered K snuck vodka (that I later realised was my vodka) into her house and then went out and got drunk and returned to stay at her house intoxicated. I was embarrassed, guilty, angry and uspet all at once…..again.

I just keep asking myself over and over how can I be a ‘good mother’ in this situation? Harsh punishments and strict boundaries don’t work as we nearly came to blows when I tried to enforce a grounding a few months ago. Soom she will be an adult and can make her own choices but I desperately need a strategy to get through the next few years.

:(



list three things every day that made me happy (read all 133 entries…)
Sat 21/11/09 1 hour ago

1. Taking Jimmers to his friend’s birthday party this morning. Watching him attack the pinyata (sp?) was hilarious.

2. Sharing a meal with my parents, husband and children whilst chatting about black holes and conspiracy theories.

3. Being able to turn to my Mum for support and knowing she will help me through even when it’s painful along the way.



list three things every day that made me happy (read all 133 entries…)
Fri 20/11/09 1 day ago

1. It’s Friday. Thank God because I am going to collapse into a heap shortly and it’s nice not to do that at work.

2. I collated all the info/figures for the Chief. Pressing send was such a relief (at least until Mon when I see she’s replied saying it is all wrong)!

3. Collecting Stinky Pinkleton from nursery and finding her in a huge cardboard box with lots of other babies playing with shredded paper. They look like little hamsters – so cute!



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