naztec

Last year, when i was still happy and together with my soulmate, we scuba dived together. It was one of the most serene and beautiful moments in my life.
They say life’s most intense moments flash before you in the seconds before you die.. If i died, I know I’d see this memory, cool blue waters with the most gorgeous shoals of fishes, of silver, turquoise brilliance and aqua greens..swimming through my legs. The sound of my breathing, and sharing this unique moment with someone i truly loved once.
So i want to do this again, and i will one day.

I have been in deep depression since the last 6months after my break up in January. It affected my work, my relationship with my friends, my art, and in general my whole life. My ex has happily moved on to be with someone else, although she calls me up time to time to tell me she still in love with me, but thinks it best we move on.
I was briefly seeing someone and shared it with ex, and surprisingly she told she cannot see me happy with another person. I still don’t understand her. We broke up because we moved away and the long distance took her toll on her. She hated being alone and the fact that meeting me once a year was all she got. She still wears the wedding ring i got her. I have gotten very wasted and called her names abusively like a jerk. I am a gentle person and realize that the end of this relationship brought out the worst in me. Apart from becoming a recluse and drinking a lot alone, i began to stop doing the positive things i used to do,like working out, painting, cooking. Instead I would stay in bed, with a bad hangover and lie there waiting to just wither away. After weeks of anguish, i realized no one but me can pull myself together. I am still working on it, slowly. Its hard but now i go for long walks,meditate, cook, and starting to paint as well. I’m still sad, but working on completely healing myself. Hope i succeed.

I lived in malaga for a year and visited spain 8 times..felt like my second home. i want to move there independantly. but my spanish isnt that great…