newshoes11

For a time in life I had nothing and only truly cared about one thing. I grew a huge dependency for this one thing that was providing me happiness and i invested too much in that thing. That thing was this girl and now that girl is gone. I see now that it wasn’t her that im trying to get over now. I had this problem before, and now i think the source of my dependency was not even that she was good for me, but the fact that i was so lonely. I have tons of friends and my family is okay, but i just can’t help but feeling lonely when im not with someone. But i do love her… i just don’t want to anymore because she can’t be with someone with such a dependency on her.

I used to think I was very independent, but lately I have realized that my family and other things have been controlling the way I live. The way I have been acting and even the emotions that I have been feeling are taking a toll on me. I don’t remember being happy for a long time, and I think I have hit the bottom with all the events that have taken place. I feel the best way for me to get away from this is to quit worrying about things that I can’t change. I just want to let go of just about everything because i have forgetten about what i truly care about.