newvanessa

Well I admit that my heart is mending, but it is far from healed….

It has almost been a year and a half…still I do not think that Mike has ever been further that 30 minutes from my mind.

I keep praying and I keep having faith in him….

Wednesday the phone range. The first time since he left with out an unexplaination…..it was him. He talked for 15 minutes, I listened. I have never been very good at that. I asked him how his life was and he said it is slugging along. He then told me that he was working on building a garage and had bought a piece of property to put his shop on. I listened very carefully. See those were the two things that I had concerns about. One that there was no garage to park my car and he doesn’t live in the worlds best neighborhood and secondly I wished he would move his shop out tof the living room. Mind you he had another living room, the house is 5000 square foot. But I guess I just wanted the shop to be in a shop not in the house…. He would never give on those two things. Said there was no room for a garage and that he liked the shop in the house. So we bought the lot to build our own house on. Then I finally made a decision to start on the house and he was gone that same day. If I had just listened then…really listened to him. I would have realized he really never could give up that house. So here he is 10 months later…building a garage where he said it was impossible to build it and moving the shop out of the house…after 24 years.

......and…..

then he said “he wouldn’t be unopposed to going to have sushi”.

I told him I was very busy but that ususally on Tuesday and Wednesday I have a little more free time…and that maybe next week I would have time. He said okay, I said great give me a call, he said he would and I hung up….

I so wanted to say can we do it tomorrow. But I refrained and let him have the ball in his court. I mean really I have waited this long what is a little longer. I think it will take him longer than 1 week. But you never know.

All I know is I have FAITH in him. I think he has been working on the things that he needed to….

Well he is still the one…and well I haven’t given up…..

Yep…my heart is still broken it has been 16 months…and mu first thought is still WHY???

I went to eat sushi the other day and the girl that used to wait on Mike and I told me.. he was there by himself eating and looking sad…I asked her what day it was and she she told me… It was his birthday. He was all alone eating at our restaurant on his birthday it was the 4th of July. I thought of him all day that day. I so wanted to call him but I didn’t. It made me sad that he is so obstinate….

So my saga continues…..

Maybe some day I will be okay.