nikijean13

The funny thing I noticed. I have a total different self image than what other people see. It all came to my attention when I was watching the movie version of Rent. There is a part and song in the movie when Maureen and Joanne are at thier engagement party and the song they sing is take me for who I am. Maureen says she is all over the place, flirty and wild. Then Joanne talks about how she is diciplined, organized, list maker, and is basicly introverted.

Well I was talking to my friend about how much I love the song. and how it was so me. she agreed how it was very me.

the funny thing is she was talking about Maureen and I was talking about Joann…. who are oppisite.

that got me to thinking How different my self image is from the me that everyone else knows. Wow, what a realization!

I am almost 30 here. I have never been in love. I am a lesbian and the gay community in my town is very small. I feel like this will never happen. I want to feel the butterflies. I want to be the stary eyed girl.

Up until I hit 25 I was 96lbs. I am 5’2 almost 5’3. Now I am a few months away from 30 and I am 160lbs. Big difference! I do have to take medication to keep my thyroid working. I have a gym I never go to. I eat out a lot because I live alone and I go out to eat with my friends a lot. I need help. Lets just see if I can do this.