I'm doing 42 things
i want to overcome it so badly i just have the tiniest shame or fear that if i tell someone they will look down on me and i think ive had bout of it back in 7th or 8th grade but not that seroius then just last year this feeling progressed undoubtably is like a capsule waiting to explode , waiting to erupt, i fear for what may come and i know i need help soon, i need a doctor but i tried telling my own mother and she thinks this, this, this…is a crazy person´s disease but why would i listen to her when she got troubles of her own, i want to trust someone already is hard when you trust no one and i know i self-evaluated but what is that going to do,then school…school just adds more clouds to the storm and i hate it ive been not doing anything good at it anyways i want to get homeschooled its better. I have my days where i feel okay but theres days where i just feel extremely horrible and thats most days and i wish to die alot recently and thats why i need help i know i am a person who is unique everyone would love but this, this … is killing me inside out and i need help now and i tried asking god above for it and i know i havent seen shit happend yet but i never taken meds or therapy , in a way i try to be a man by covering up what it is and i know deep down its not good, im ashamed and i don´t feel like i could cover this up any longer im dead inside and i want to live but its hard for real…what can i do, what should i do, when should i do it and is god really listening and watching out for me or am i to stay like this forever? i careless if someone died right about now i cry alot and i show no empathy towards others i act alot around others and i cant keep i tup its like they´lll think im bi polar when im not cause one day im haappy looking then saad is crazy and my realtionships arent the best i dont try having a boyfirend for this fact ive lost all my confidence and im dead.
nlindamami's Life List
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1. overcome depression
1 entry . 1 cheer470 people -
2. forget the past, live in the present and smile when thinking of the future
1 entry . 2 cheers246 people -
3. i want to be happy
1 entry . 1 cheer907 people -
4. Stop overanalyzing
1 entry . 2 cheers329 people -
5. Fall in love
1 entry27,217 people -
6. Travel to Brazil
1 entry147 people -
7. Be more consistent
1 entry89 people -
8. Play the sims 2 online for free
1 entry . 1 cheer36,766 people -
9. be a singer
1 entry . 1 cheer1,237 people -
10. be an actress
1 entry1,626 people -
11. be a dancer
1 entry210 people -
12. figure things out w/my mom
1 entry . 3 cheers1 person -
13. Kiss in the rain
1 entry15,127 people -
14. learn sign language
1 entry8,501 people -
15. join the marines
1 entry107 people -
16. be less self-conscious
1 entry359 people -
17. be more confident
1 entry11,567 people -
18. drive across the united states
1 entry102 people -
19. learn german
1 entry5,394 people -
20. visit germany
1 entry732 people -
21. learn to swim
1 entry3,418 people -
22. Send a message in a bottle
1 entry4,139 people -
23. ice skate
1 entry135 people -
24. Read the Bible
1 entry3,781 people -
25. keep my promises
1 entry127 people -
26. go to church
1 entry804 people -
27. Get a tattoo
1 entry21,978 people -
28. read all the books I own
1 entry1,281 people -
29. return library books
1 entry8 people -
30. do better in school
1 entry . 1 cheer548 people -
31. communicate more effectively
1 entry77 people -
32. learn to walk in high heels
1 entry322 people -
33. get a Brazilian wax
1 entry338 people -
34. improve my portuguese
1 entry44 people -
35. clean more often
2 entries81 people -
36. learn how to ride a bike
1 entry224 people -
37. look at the stars more often
1 entry91 people -
38. say what i mean and mean what i say
1 entry234 people -
39. Finish what I start
1 entry . 1 cheer4,055 people -
40. Compliment a complete stranger
1 entry . 1 cheer20 people -
41. Have a portrait done
1 entry . 1 cheer3 people -
42. identify 100 songs that gives meaning to my life in some way!!
1 cheer68 people
Recent entries
y3a ive been cleaning more lately defet. ive trying to follow to the feng shui techniques i get lazy still but i try more than i used to or i still do even when im feeling down.
