nomnombunneh

my boyfriend lives in australia and i really wanna fly over there it’s just hard to pay things these days. has been 1 year since i last saw him. really. can’t. wait. anymore.

I hate how I over analyze things. It starts with him and when he doesn’t say what I think(or have thought through=analyzed) is most appropriate and it’s like a roller coaster. It starts and I can’t stop. I keep analyzing and I picture the worst outcome until he simply says ‘I love you babe’ and that’s when I just let go of it and I feel guilty for always anticipating the worst. I had a relationship 4 years ago where for the last 2 weeks the guy cheated on me and I knew it..I had analyzed his behaviour etc and I figured it out…wasn’t 100% sure though until he told me he wanted to break up with me(until then he had told me it was my mind playing tricks with me). Now in my new relationship I keep doing it and I can’t help but feel guilty for not trusting him =/ And very deep in my mind I just count the possible number of days until this ends and so far it has gone good but I just can’t help it. It gives me headaches. I feel like when I don’t analyze things I can’t predict and prepare myself for whatever comes.