nycebutterfly

I made amends to my Dad in May…it felt good to finally acknowledge all the ways in which I’d hurt him over the years. Pulling away from him – denying him the right to participate in my life; withdrawing my love; pushing him away; blaming him for my difficulties with men; judging and criticizing his parenting skills; making insensitive remarks with thought or concern for his feelings; grieving his spirit with my rebellion and stubborn refusal to let anyone help me; not sharing what was really going on with me…No parent deserves this kind of treatment. On June 20th, my Mom’s birthday, I made amends to her.

My only regret is that I didn’t take this action sooner. The lost years with my parents cannot be replaced. Resolution and reconciliation of relationships brings peace, renewed intimacy and freedom from the past. Don’t wait to speak the words…God’s love heals when the truth spills from your lips and heart.

Friday I leave for Sweden! It’s becoming a reality…

My trip to Sweden morphed into a road trip to Italy through Germany and Switzerland! It’s 33 days til I fly out of Logan airport…destination Sweden. My brother and his partner arranged the whole trip…truly generous at heart! It’s my first trip to a Foreign country…a trip of a lifetime, one that God surely orchestrated.

Will post when I return.

My passport arrived in the mail today! Yeah…now on to the next task of list-making for my trip in July. The itinerary includes stops in Florence, Italy; Wengen, Switzerland, Austria and Germany.I’ll need to learn a little French, Swedish and German…just the basics.

103 days to go…

I filled out my online passport application :-) Yeah! One step closer to my foreign adventure.

Had passport photos taken…next step is to fill out the application.

Hi Aprilsunshinegal,

What a great goal! So…how did I come up with my username? The obvious reason (for those that know me) is my last name is Nyce. Other members of my family were creating usernames and/or vanity plates with nyce____, so I followed suit. So, I used my last name and thought about ‘who I am’ and how I wanted to represent myself. I’ve been obsessed with butterflies most of my life. They are messengers of the freedom and joy that can be found in the process of transformation (personal and spiritual). When we let go of our old life, our old ideas and anything that restricts us, we are set free to soar with our new wings into unchartered territory.

Some of my favorite quotes about butterflies include:

“What the catepillar calls the end of the world, the master calls the butterfly.” ~ Richard Bach

“How does one become a butterfly?” she asked pensively.

“You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.” ~ Trina Paulus, Hope for the Flowers

Thanks for asking about my username…What about yours?

Check! The Whirlpool repairman arrived at my house with tools in tow. Within 10 minutes the diagnosis was made…the belt needed replacing. It was relieving to know it wasn’t a more serious problem. I considered whether it was worth spending the money for to repair it. The dryer was 13 years old. I’d acquired the dryer two years ago from a generous friend who’s aunt passed away. Spending $$ to fix the dryer seemed like a sound investment given these facts. Works great!

My brother and his partner are relocating to Sweden in February of this year. They’ve extended an invitation to visit in July. I’m going to look into the steps to obtain a passport. An adventure in the making…

Leaving tomorrow AM to fly out for a week to stay with my brother. I’ve prepared a list of amends that I need to make to him and will continue to pray that God guides me an grants me the courage and strength to follow through with this action. He deserves the amends and more importantly, I need to take responsibility for my actions, attitudes and behaviors and how they’ve affected him throughout my life.

One of the members of my group called out of the blue to say she she was thinking of me and missed seeing me at the group. It was just the nudge I needed…I’m planning on going to the next group meeting on January 16th.

I’ve signed up for a 3 month trial of eHarmony. I’m open and willing to whomever God brings into my life. This will provide a safe way for me to communicate and get to know someone. So far, not finding that many people I feel drawn to get to know. Patience…

I’m waiting (patiently) for a new PlanetFitness to open in my town. I’ve driven past the location for the past several months. The sign indicates “coming soon”. This would be a perfect solution for me…it’s affordable, convenient and no frills. Hope it opens in the New Year.

My workday ended (finallly) and I found myself weighted down with negativity and self-pity that seemed to pile on as fast as the wintry weather outside which had dumped 5 inches of snow on the ground. As I walked to my car, I paused and prayed to have this mood lifted from me. I started to brush the snow off my car and then the thought occurred to me to brush off the snow from the car parked next to me. Yet another discovery that doing something kind for another person (especially anonymously) is a sure cure to beat the blues, self-pity and lift my spirit.

Talked to my brother tonight. He’s moving to Sweden in February and said he’s taking Swedish lessons. Maybe this would be a good language to learn so that when I go visit him (one of my other goals!!) that I’ll know a bit of the language.

My dryer stopped working yesterday. When it comes to home improvements/repairs, my first reaction is usually panic. I think to myself, shouldn’t I know how to fix a dryer?! Why would I? After the panic and frustration subsided, I considered my options. My first thought was to contact the Whirlpool 800 number provided on the machine. I made an appointment for a repair service to come check it out. I felt good about taking this step. What did I do before I got the dryer? In the summer I hang my clothes on the line and before that I would haul my laundry to the local laundromat. Okay…good rational thinking!

There’s tons of information on the web about dryer repair. I’m considering fixing it myself. It’s a daunting task. My next step is to compare costs of repair service vs. fixing it myself. It would definitely be a challenge for me.

Anyone else ever repaired their own dryer?

What an awesome uplifting feeling to spread the joy of the season…I pulled up to the toll booth and gave the attendant a bill. As he was handing me the change, I said, “Please pay for the four cars behind me with this money.” He grinned and nodded. As I sped through the toll booth on my way to my destination, I grinned and thought to myself, Merry Christmas everyone. It feels so much better to give than to receive…it’s a great cure for self-pity!

I’ve been using the Money management program software and have found it very helpful. I started tracking my expenses several years ago and have found that when I know the details of my spending habits, I’m more apt to spend wisely. I find ways to save money, look for bargains, buy in bulk or second-hand, put off large purchases until I’m sure that I can afford it and actually need it.

Worth the time and effort!!

I’ve started to call home every week – just to say hello. I could go months without a thought or a call home. My Dad isn’t much on conversation at times, he’s a great listener, though. When I visit him, I’ve learned that the best way to develop our relationship is to spend time doing what he loves to do – working in his shop. My Dad was educated in the field of metallurgy (never knew what he did for ‘work’ in my early years). He retired a few years ago and started studying to be a goldsmith. He’s a wonderful craftsman and always will be a scientist at heart. I wish it hadn’t taken me 42 years to discover who he is as a man and human being. Sometimes it just takes awhile…I need to take the first steps to reach out!

I’ve been debt free since 2002. It wasn’t easy in the beginning, but today my finances reflect healthy habits. I stopped using my credit cards in 1999 and only pay for things if I have the money. Using an online money management program has helped me track my expenses and budget my money more efficiently. The debt started to accummulate when I’d have a thought to ‘buy’ something…today I ask myself before I buy “do I really need this now?”. I read Your Money or Your Life and found it’s principles very valuable.