oh_dearme

“so what?!”

wise words.

...keep bringing me down. if only i could erase my memory, eh? well, one can not do that because you wouldn’t be who you are today, etc., etc. i know. but some days, it is just too painful to remember. some days i can’t bear it. i’ve tried working through the pain. i’ve tried forgetting the pain.

i just need to forgive myself, give myself a hug and move on.

two questions come up with every painful memory. HOW? and WHY? these questions can never be answered. not anymore, because it’s long gone. the mystery will never be solved.

i am who i am and these scars make me who i am. i have to remember this.

it’s just so hard, you know?

on the 22nd, my fiance and i are moving into a new home. i have never recycled before because i didn’t have the means or people didn’t want to cooperate. now that i will have my very own place to live, i want to recycle.

my first step is to research the recycling centers in my area, find drop off locations or if they pick up, then make plastic containers (neatly labeled!) and voilah!

i’m terribly excited, i must say.

1. kitten sneezes
2. hot tea
3. new markers
4. the first snow
5. hugs. hugs. hugs.

i found a publishing company that is seeking proofreaders. they pay $35/page. it’s not much, but it’s a second job that i can do at home. PLUS, i absolutely love writing and english is definitely a strong skill i have. i’m crossing my fingers!

i have a great full time job, but in this economy it just doesn’t cut it. i am trying to find a job that doesn’t absolutely suck. no waitressing. i vowed that i would never serve food again. hmm… the search begins.

i think i will start with book stores.