oldcrowwhiskey

Things are going better for me, but I still do not have a job. I am fine for money for a few more months, but I am getting worried. I am bored during the day, I don’t do anything. I fear going outside into the real world for some reason. I need to overcome these fears or I will end up being a weird hermit. I need to open up to people to help build relationships.

I seem to have small panic attacks when thinking about interaction with other people. I think I do this because of my large panic attack at work, the fact that I may repeat it. I know I am in control of my emotions, but this still freaks me out. I also still lose concetration and day dream once in a while, I just did it while writing this. I daydream about weird situations and how I would react. I am not sure how to get over these, but I will keep working on it. I have a couple fantasy football banquets to go to today to practice not being nervous.

I am somewhat lonely, but feel like being alone today. I spent the weekend up with my family, it was nice. I had a lot of fun. The nieces and nephews definately wear me out. I do feel akward still when there is no conversation, but I am doing better with it. I am still not sure where my life is going, but I am feeling better about it.