I also have the goal, “simplify my life”, under which I’ve been getting rid of clothes that no longer suit me. I’ve gotten over the guilt of getting rid of clothes that I don’t want to wear that were gifts, items I received compliments on, were expensive, or whatever other reason that doesn’t come to mind at the moment. I figure if I donate my clothes, there’s someone else out there who will appreciate these items more than I do. I’m then free to replace my wardrobe only with items that I feel good about wearing. This is impossible to do overnight. Last week I went shopping for pants and browsed other items as well as I shopped. I wound up purchasing a dress and a shirt. Of the 8 or so pairs of pants I tried on, none of them fit. The dress and shirt were great fits and good additions to my wardrobe. I’ve gotten rid of a lot of clothes. Yesterday I made a donation bag and threw other items in the trash. I’ve been so frugal over the years that I’ve worn my clothes until they’ve been ready to fall apart, or have fallen apart on occasions. I found a few of those items, and put them in the trash. The items for the donation bag were items I just don’t want to wear anymore, see no reason to wear, or are worn beyond what I feel like wearing now that I’m replacing things, but are still in good enough condition to wear. What was I thinking wearing a pair of pants for eight or so years that fell off my hips and could be taken on and off without unzipping and looked too bunched up worn with a belt? Enough!
My job put me on the clock, so I can’t be late all the time or have extra days off. I also can’t quit right now, and I’m not looking for another job right now. Right now I’ll focus on my other goal, “be financially independent”.
I want to buy new clothes, and I have bought a few items. I already have a lot of clothes, so initially it seems like shouldn’t necessarily add anything to my wardrobe. I want to add to my wardrobe though, because I don’t wear a lot of what I have. Some things are nice, but they aren’t a good fit, so I don’t wind up wearing them. Others are a little worn and outdated and I’m unmotivated to wear them, so I should get rid of them and replace them with something I feel good about wearing. I’ve been slowly donating, going through to see what I don’t want every few weeks. I’ve worn things to give them a last chance and then decide. I don’t feel bad about getting rid of nice things that aren’t for me anymore because I’ve been donating them to an abused women and children’s organization. Someone else can appreciate what I no longer want more than I can, so they should have it. It also feels good to clear out and have more room to see what I have.
I’m going to start carrying a to-do list. That way it’s always handy so I don’t forget, and I can check things off as I do or don’t do them. I’m not worried that I won’t do things that are good for me. I know what my priorities are and right now I’m in the mode to go through with them. It does feel good to do the things that are important and bring happiness, so I’ll do this.
Plus, sometimes things can change which make more sense. So, instead of checking in on weekly goals I must complete, I’m going to start carrying a to-do list. That way it’s always handy so I don’t forget, and I can check things off as I do or don’t do them. I’m not worried that I won’t do things that are good for me. I know what my priorities are and right now I’m in the mode to go through with them. It does feel good to do the things that are important and bring happiness, so I’ll do this.
1. Do some stretching each morning. If I feel up to doing more than that, then I will.
2. Take a break for a minute or so to relieve stress as needed.
3. Draw and work on my current painting as much as possible.
There are other things I might do as well, but I think this is all I want on my list of things to do. I think I’ll have accomplished a lot if I do just this.
1. Yes, I went to the Cindy Sherman exhibit at the MoMa. It consisted of all large photos and didn’t take long to go through, so I did browse through some of my favorites in the permanent collection too, and stopped in St. Patrick’s before heading home.
2. I made my minted barley salad for lunch during the week. It’s a warm-weather favorite and travels well. I even received a compliment on how good it looked.
3. I did not wake up early to work out. I was tired. I was especially beat on Wednesday morning after having gone out on Tuesday evening.
4.I did not draw every night. Yes, in order to complete this goal, I could have drawn for even a few minutes on Tuesday night, but yes indeed I was beat and got organized and ready for bed instead. Friday night I did not either due to being especially stressed and anxious. I did draw all other nights and accomplished a lot on Saturday though.
1. Go to the MoMa tomorrow to see the Cindy Sherman exhibit (and more if I feel up to it). The MoMa is actually open on Memorial Day. I’m impressed!
2. Make my Minted Barley with Peas salad to bring to lunch for the week.
3. Wake up earlier so I can exercise for a half hour before work.
This means waking up around 6 – 6:15 instead of 7 or later (or 6:45 for much of last week).
4. Draw every night after work, even if I do something after work. Draw as much as I can before bed.
Sometimes things I want to do get put on the backburner due to anything from being busy, stress, anxiety, fatigue, things that come up, other priorities, forgetting due to too many things going on, and maybe even other reasons that don’t come to mind at the moment. So I decided it’s a good idea to have short-term lists that don’t actually need to be a long-term goals, rather just a reminder and/or a push to do some things.
So here it is:
1. Despite a very rainy week, I did my planting. I planted the mint plant in a very nice ceramic pot I had sitting in the cellar and decided to keep it in the kitchen. It has a pleasant aroma and proved to be a handy convenience after a week of whipping up fresh tzatziki sauce each morning to go with my lunches. I planted the sunflower seeds and the three remaining marigold plants this morning. It was a little rainy this morning, but by the time I finihed breakfast, it cleared up and dried up and I was able to go out to do my planting and other yard work. I really hope these sunflowers grow!
2. I woke up early enough to make my bacon and eggs Monday morning. I had some leftover bacon for another morning too. I woke up about 15 minutes earlier than usual all week, except for Friday.
3. I finally lit my candle at St. Patrick’s. Did you know approximately one million candles are lit at St. Patrick’s each year?
4. My friend A contacted me and we went out. Everything is okay, she was just busy with a work deadline. I understand exactly. We used to work together.
5. Got more info on Broadway shows and Niagara Falls. Emailed to my friend and will talk and book soon. We’re going to see Wicked, and pretty sure we will go to Niagara Falls.
1. Plant my sunflower seeds and the rest of the marigolds. Decide whether to plant the mint plant in the garden, or keep it potted inside. My original plan was to add it to my garden, but the label says it’s best kept at room temp. in a sunny window and to keep soil moist and repot as needed to encourage growth. hmmm…
2. Wake up early enough tomorrow to make bacon and eggs. I treat myself to this once in a while and didn’t do so this weekend. The eggs need to be used, and this will hopefully put me off to a good start to a week of getting up earlier.
3. Light a candle at St. Patrick’s. The suggested donation is $2 and I never have the right change. Right now I do.
4. Contact my friend A if I haven’t heard back from her yet. I contacted her last week and haven’t heard back. It’s not like her and I hope nothing is wrong. I know she might be distracted by a couple potential things. I hope not.
5. Get more info on the Broadway shows Niagra Falls and let my friend M know so we can plan her and her SO’s visit.
I think that’s enough goals for this week. If I write too many, they will never get done. If I get more done, then that’s great!
Now I will write this all down so I don’t need to log in to check it off. I must minimize my time online so I can get things done.
Rejecting hypocrisy has involved a lot of self reflection effort. Some efforts require more work than other. Marking this goal off as done does not mean I’m abandoning the goal or don’t have more work to do. It means I’m happy with my progress and know I’m sticking with it and that it has and will continue to make me a better person.
Is it possible to be completely free of hypocrisy? I don’t know, but I can try. I think it’s often unrealized.
I don’t think I hemmed any since I last wrote, but I’m no longer sure what needs to be hemmed. There’s a pair that could be redone but I probably won’t be wearing them again until Spring, so I won’t bother with them now. Actually, looking back at my entries now, I believe they are the linen pants I worte about 13 months ago (lol). There’s also a pair I bought at a sample sale years ago that need a button and a belt loop sewed on, but I’ll get to them another time, and I don’t believe they require hemming so they don’t specifically need to be on this list. It’s possible I donated something that was on the to-do list, since I’ve been regulary donating things I no longer wear, and I can’t think of what needs to be hemmed. I’ll definitely keep up sewing things that need to be sewn as I come across them and actually think they are worth keeping in my wardrobe.
Right after I last wrote that things were better, things went downhill again but are now better. There could always be something to get through, so as long as I’m promising myself right here and right now to get through whatever life throws at me, I think it’s safe to mark off this goal. It was a good reminder and a place vent a little.
I only think I will know when the time arrives, or when I arrive to the time! Yes, it will be when I arrive to the time because this requires my efforts. Less is more. I’ve arrived to the time to focus on what more I want. If I can focus on what I want, instead of what I don’t want, I think what I don’t want could fade, or ideally disappear.
Sometimes it’s enough for me to be vague here, because I know what I’m thinking and don’t need to explain this to myself. If I’m thinking about something day in, day out, it can feel like enough. To elaborate here might require energy I’ve already burned. To make a long story short, I had a health scare that turned out to be nothing. So, that was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders yesterday.
I started this goal with some relationship issues in mind. I then realized that a lot of things were terribly wrong and getting through “it”, whatever “it’ could be, felt like the only thing I could try to do. Things are getting better, much better than last week.
