otowngati

Today I woke up at 3:00 am thinking and wondering what he was doing or thinking. If he have somebody if she prettier than me, Nicer, younger? How can he kiss her ? well you guys know everything that goes thru your mind. I decided to change my cell number like that if he decides to call me he wont be able to reach me. Why I keep torturing myself with the “what if” if I had try for 11 months to fix this no matter what. What ever he asked me to do to fix it I had done and never was enought for him. I pray everynight for the lord to give me the strengh that I need to go on and help me stop loving him but is not working. S Thank you for been a true friend I wish you can live closer.

Today I had contact with him. After he told his best friend to tell me how much he loves me, miss me and after he called me like 30 times this weeks and everynight texted me so I decied to
go and talk to him. He acted like nothing, Told me that he just wanted to make sure that I was ok. Nothing about us at all. Since he didnt said anything I left him a message asking him. He called me to tell me that all he wanted it was to make sure I was ok and he didnt mean to hurt my feelings so I asked him. He denied everything he said to his friend to tell me and told me that he didnt know what he wanted it still so I told him that is over. I’m so hurt but I know I will make it. I feel like loving him is a curse! Live and learn.

I feel really bad … He Keep telling his best friend that he want to fix things, He texted me everynight. I havent answer at all…But I’m hurting. My cancer test came negative. Yeepee. At least I have something to celebrate. For days I’ve been trying to get in but for somereason my asswords havent been working. Anyhow I want this day to be over.