For too long I have wallowed in self pity, consumed by the feelings of worthlessness and anxiety over not being able to gain the love or even the good friendship of a particular girl. I met her in the second year of university and its has been over a year since I graduated. I have annoyed my friends with the incessant discussions on this topic and formed too many self-created illusions of hope where none clearly exist. I do not want unrequited love to have a bigger part in my life than reciprocal relationships, be that friendship or more. I need to realize she is no more special than any other person, despite my strong feelings to the contrary, and that it is infact possible to meet someone who will be as smart, funny and nice as she is or I have made her out to be.
I need to focus on the goals I want for my own life, be happy with who I am and not place her on a pedestal above all others, even my own emotional well-being.