i messed up i drank, i drank because i was scared. I said id have 1 drink just 2 calm me but it turned in 2 a great deal more nd of course i got drunk. I feel ashamed but relieved drinking last night makes me realise that there is no in between 4 me its either quit or carry on drinking and end up dead. I have decided 2 go 2 d aa, if i intend 2 get sober nd stay sober i cnt do it on my own. Im scared i wont ever have the will power 2 leave d bottle 4 good.
page099's Life List
heres the thing, i wrote my last post ages ago i didnt quit then. i was seventeen at the time and was on a come down of ectasy and was also really hungover im nineteen now. i was a complete wreck back then, my drinking only got worse i drank every single night after work going threw a bottle of vodka nightly, i was partly a secret drinker.my friends knew how bad i was but yet they didnt. i would drink with them on occasion but i became withdrawn and all i wanted to do was drink on my own. i moved out of home, and moved into a party house, my drinking got even worse i had 2 leave my job because of it.all i wanted to do was drink so i did, i drank all day nd night. i was a complete mess i was also self harming brutaly. i finally decided 2 get sober so i moved home nd havent touched a drop in almost three months.But im thinking about drink is it possible 2 just become a rare drinker. Im going on hols with my mates nd im worried about drinking i want 2 drink there, but im scared ill become the way i was
i dont think i realised it until now how much drink has damaged me,i hurt myself and every one i know.I do so many things that i wouldnt dream of doing sober i used to laugh them off but i cant any more.Im so depressed right now,i need help.Im sick off wasting my life,i dont know where to start but i know i have to.