paledaemon

The black rose symbolizes death, and it’s for my grandmother, who mattered to me. The snake represents my daughter (who was born in the Year of the Snake and redefines the word “Diva” since she came out of the womb), and the butterfly represents my son, because …well, a lot of things, but it’s a long story. The bad fairy tat is for me. There’s another tat out there I haven’t found yet that represents my wife…I just don’t know what it is yet. Probably a lotus flower.

I parent with what I call “benign neglect.” That means: a.) I drive my mother crazy and she thinks I’m not nearly as good a mother as she is/was, and that I’m not parenting the kids (controlling them) enough and I’m not “firm” enough (up their asses about the most trivial things and making them miserable for every choice they make), and b.) I make sure the kids have hugs, love, clothes, food, toys, opportunities, school, homework done, bed times, medical care, and so on, but if no one is bleeding or the police don’t need called, I let them handle things. I’m here to guide, love, care for them. Not own them. Most of the time, the kids occupy themselves or each other. I’m blessed with bright, good, creative kids. But it’s too easy to let them just do all that and go off and do my own thing…I want to specifically spend time with both kids, and one on one time.

I nearly lost my life a month ago and ever since then I’ve been thinking about my life and about all the things I’ve either done or haven’t done, and I’ve realized I haven’t had a lot of fun in the last few years. So, pass the Malibu Coconut Rum and some raspberry puree and the ice…and either join in or go away.