“Never regret anything, because at one point, it was what you wanted.”
“Regrets are pointless. It’s better to look at it as something you once wanted and DID get. Sometimes.. your wants and needs just change. Sometimes you don’t get to choose it at all. But at least you gained an experience, in the end- hopefully one you could look back at fondly.”
http://ezinearticles.com/?Learning-To-Love-Your-Self-and-Stop-The-Self-Criticism&id=156452
Stand in front of a mirror and what do you see? Where does your gaze go? What inner dialogue or head talk do you hear?
Some people try not to listen to their inner voice thinking it is evidence that they are crazy. This is not true. The inner voice is guiding and directing your actions and beliefs whether or not you are listening.
As you look in the mirror do you focus on the piece of hair that goes its own way, a facial mark, a spot on your tie or the size of your nose? Are your inner words full of criticism and disapproving value judgments? Are your ears only tuned to rejecting messages? Do your eyes scan past your valuable features? Is your sensitivity level turned up high to faultfinding messages or tones of voice? Can you hear affirming words and caring messages?
The ability to look at you looking back at yourself and seeing your unique and wonderful aspects is a skill necessary for a mentally positive self-concept. Notice the warmth in your smile, the tilt of your brow or the dimple in your chin. Look for the features that are part of what those who care about you know and appreciate. Give yourself a pat on the shoulder and some encouragement.
Feel the shift in your physical posture, muscle tension and facial expression when you say critical words vs. when you say positive things to yourself.
How do you change when you think and say words that positively support and encourage you? Be attentive to these changes and you will start to be aware of some of the physical aches and pains you feel when you get stressed.
Think of several terms that you use to describe yourself. Listen to the words that you use to characterize your personal qualities. Say them out loud.
I am …... !
Would you say these statements about yourself in public? Would you classify this as selfish and bragging! Is it more acceptable to you to be derogatory and denounce your gifts and charming qualities? Is criticism more familiar than praise?
Learning to love yourself is essential in the development of the ability to be loving with others. If you focus on your own faults you will most likely highlight the shortcomings of others.
If you do tend to center on the mistakes of others, consider what was programmed into your thinking when you were growing. Prejudice and intolerance of others reveals insecurity, rigid thinking, and fear. These are the opposite to love. Love involves opening up of our selves, heart, mind and soul.
Looking at yourself in the mirror can be a scary adventure. Seeing who is looking back, straight in the eye, confronts you with your perception of the person you have become. Do you have the courage to be honest with yourself?
God, by whatever name you use for the universal force of life, is living in the world today, and manifests in the actions of human beings. Can you see your God looking back at you? Is the God in whom you believe a God of criticism and struggle or of acceptance and love?
There is also great evil, distrust and hate alive in the world today. Violence in our society, in our homes and family relationships, reveal it.
We must cast the evil out of our lives and confront with trust and courage the values that are the core of healthy living.
Love is not placid and passive. Love is passionate and active. Each small step an individual takes, to replace lies with truth, criticism with praise, fear with love, is a step to a new way of living. Live in trust that your God’s support is present in your life.
How much you are the person you want to be is determined by the way you act and react and the choices you make. When you take a risk and start to get to know yourself, you can confront the way you manifest your faith into the world. This reveals your ability to let love into your life.
Learning to love involves learning to face your self, your fears, and accepting responsibility to become the person you want to be. Your God is always there with you, like your inner dialogue, whether you are listening or not.
Being able to accept love comes when you are ready to hear loving messages from yourself and others. Are you ready? Are you listening?
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This is a bad habit that I’ve picked up fist year of college. I say things that make me appear foolish, and I swear too much for my own good. It makes me seem very trashy and stuff. Therefore, I resolve not to use a swear word for the next two weeks (no more fuck!!) and also I resolve to swallow my words 2 times before saying it. My grandpa used to say you have to swallow your words 7 times before you say them.
A smartass ain’t smart, anyone can give out 100 stupid remarks where some are funny. It takes intelligenet to say 1 truly witty remark that matters.
I need to watch my mouth.
Cooking is a journey, it doesn’t happen at once.
However, so far I’ve learnt enough to keep me alive, however, I burn my pots too much ;)
Oh yeah, and I’ve signed up for the gym. However I have not really had a good attendance schedule! :(
Tonight, I am pulling an all nighter, but I know this is extremely bad for your health, this is my last one. It’s just that I have to study badly for this quiz. :-/
I think I am setting some goals for the coming week, at least until the end of my exam:
-Water: apparently you need only 8glasses/2.2 liters per day, since I drink out of the bottle that equals to roughly 2.5 bottles! Fantastic, I’ve picked up this habit.
-Food: Eat breakfast, eat lunch, eat supper and nothing else. This is probably pretty hard for me, but I sincerely believe I can do it.
-Sleep: BIGGEST CHALLENGE: specially since I’ve pulled an all-nighter tonight. I need to sleep 7-8 hours per day, not more, not less. I’ve noticed that sleeping after 12:30-1:00 really fucks up my schedule, so my goal for the next week is go to bed before 12:30, essential, since I have an exam coming up.
-Excercise: Besides the 3 hour session this week, Do at least 2 hours of additional excercise at some point in the gym, just to relax.
I am taking part in a six-week kickboxing program… that’s 12 classes. I’ve already finished four classes, I am excited about the 8 coming up!
1. I wasn’t there fore the first day…
2. the second day I almost fainted. Most likely due to fatigue, dehydration, etc. “I just began a kickboxing program. I am not really a fit person and have not excercised for a long period… the first day I went in we began with skip-ropes, I did pretty well. However, right after, it was as if my head was going to pop, my vision became extremely blurry and I had to go outside and sit down for like 15 minutes. I noticed that my eyes became very red. Of course, it improved, however, my head still hurts after a day and a half… I am not sure what to do.” Not to mention, I could barely move my legs for 3 days after the fact.
3. the third day was fantastic. I was totally on the top of my game, learnt some great techniques. No fatigue (I drank lots of water during the week).
4. I felt my performance was underwhelming, I had a different instructor, and I don’t seem to do as well when he’s around (it might also be that I have a lab prior to his class and am already very tired). In anycase, my skip roping sucked, I really need to improve on that…
So I took my resume to the career center (I am taking it again soon) and did major work on it. It looks very organized and polished… now I just need to do more things to put on it ;)
This is something that has affected me profoundly so I thought may be I’d share here.
I have noticed that I lose respect for people who yell, it has happened time after time, and even unconciously on my part—and mostly even when the yelling was not directed at me. And after that, I almost never have been able to respect those people the same way again.
It’s really interesting because there is no way in hell that I would want someone who is around me when I am angry and frustrated to lose respect for me like that.
Anger is not empowering, anger is not power, anger is a sign of weakness. It may scare people, but people are not scared because they respect you, or they think you are powerful… they simply consider you weak and unstable to be around. It is not something positive for display at least.
However, I have tremedous respect for people who do not lose their cool even during the most difficult situations. I want to be one of those people—nothing is worth destroying your brain cells and self-respect over.
Well actually, as they say “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”
This is something that I’ve come to figure out, to really succeed you must suffer for it, you must constantly be trying to push yourself above that comfort level, where pain presides, to reach the next platue, and in a way, the pain you feel right there and then, is not really pain but a feeling a please—it’s as if your weakness is slowly leaving you.
All my life, I’ve been mediocre in other things, and now I finally understand why. I’ve never been willing to suffer for a goal, I’ve never been willing to sacrifice things in order to accomplish something, I have always been afraid of the PAIN that comes with the training process. But I’ve realized, through my sport, that once you don’t bring yourself up in one level, you’ll fall behind, you’ll never not only be able to reach the level you eventually want to reach—you will not even survive in the next level. It’s all about constantly improving yourself to take the hits, to send kicks, to stretch, to do things that would kill someone who is not trained. And at the end you can do them.
Don’t push too hard, don’t overdo it, that’s where you can hurt/kill yourself… you know where the next plateau is. But don’t stay in the comfort level… as long as you do things in your comfort level, you’ll always stay in one place. I realized that day, as my legs stinged, I thought I could go on no longer, but I had to go, I had to keep up with the partner. My arms and legs still hurt, but in retrospective it makes me smile to think that I am now just a bit closer, and every day as I get better and better the enormous pain of just starting out will be trivial.
And it also makes me happy to feel that I don’t care how long it takes, I don’t care how much my feet will sting, how much my arms will hurt and how sore and painful I will be—I can one day look in the mirror and say, wow, I actually did this!
It’s the same for studying for me, there is a great feeling of suffering and pain that comes with having to do questions. I just can’t seem to enjoy doing problems, I get frustrated fast. In high school, I did extremely well because I didn’t need to really do any questions, as ong as I understood the materials I was fine. And I had an average that allowed me to be waitlisted in the world’s top institution of learning among other schools. However, when I came to university, I continued with my high school ways, and unfortunately failed a few exams because of it. I was too afraid to go beyond my comfort level. It’s too late to change any of that now…
However, I’ve realized I really have passion for my studies, I really want to accomplish something, and I know this is how I go about it. Therefore starting today I am going to go through the pain, just to be able to get over my fears, and reach the next plateau in my learning. With out a doubt my biggest hinderance right now is fear from the pain, but this pain is really pleasure, pleasure of shedding the weakness, metamorphing into something stronger, faster, smarter… something more resolute and more passionate.
Sports, learning, love, life… it’s all about pushing yourself to the next level, and as much as that may not be a walk in the park, it’s worth it.
“Out of the silver heat mirage he ran. The sky burned, and under him the paving was a black mirror reflecting sun-fire. Sweat sprayed his skin with each foot strike so that he ran in a hot mist of his own creation. With each slap on the softened asphalt, his soles absorbed heat that rose through his arches and ankles and the stems of his shins. It was a
carnival of pain, but he loved each stride because running distilled him to his essence and the heat hastened this distillation.”
-James Tabor, from “The Runner,” a short story
okay the previous idea was bad, when I get the 12 lectures done I am gonna go get chocolate!
من نمیدونم چی بنویسم چونکه من دغیغن حدود 9 سال به فارسی اسلآ ننوشتم. این اولین بار در سالها هست که من دارم مینویسم. میدونم که نوشتنم اسلآ خوب نیست… ولی بلاخره دارام مینوسم و به خودم افتخار میکنم. اگر کسی میخواهد کمکم کند خیلی ممنون میشم.
This was the first article I’ve read in farsi
http://news.gooya.eu/world/archives/058306.php
Too about 20 minutes. about how a group of individuals are trying to improve human rights (hoghoogh bashar in Saudi Arabia)
Alright, I’ve began to spend about 30 minutes per day reading Iranian newspaper, I think this will be good to improve my reading skills. Right now it takes a very long time for me to read, and it’s almost impossible to scan.
Over the past few months I’ve progressively become earlier and earlier. Being early/on time is something that you always have to keep in mind and work on constantly, and after a while it becomes a second nature. Now when I have an appointment or a class or whatever, I try to be 3-10 minutes earlier. And if I am late, sometimes just things happen, I don’t beat myself about it.
An important thing I have learnt, also, is that when I have the option of doing something immediately, just do it. The gratification and confidence that comes with not having to put down that extra thing on the calendar is immediate and wonderful!
It’s been good, it’s just a matter of being conscious and aware of the time you have available, same goes with everything in life for those of you who tend to leave things off, and then have to do things late with and feel the disappointment that comes with it.
The early bird truly catches the worm.
I’ve basically signed up for private tutorials, tutors… etc… etc… this is going to really empty my pockets, but honestly, it’s fucking better than driving myself insane over small things I don’t understand.
I’ve found a good way to deal with my anger is to write on myself. It makes me feel so much better to put the words not just out, but on myself, it makes me feel as if I’ve brought the outside. I’ve realized that I need help.
Sometimes I feel so angry at myself, so frustrated with myself, so disappointed at myself that if I had the same feelings towards someone else I would surely hit them. I’ve gotten away from an environment where I constantly felt angry, and it seems that now I’ve directed the feelings towards myself.
I’ve become stuck in a spiral of negativity, and feel hindered to accomplish anything. At home, the anger was directed towards something external, real people, real things, real events, but now it’s just something inside that I can’t see or touch. And having an unknown “enemy” is a lot worse.
I don’t know how to channel this anger, before I had some degree of control. I used the anger to motivate me to do better, get out faster… but now it’s INSIDE of me, and I just want this ball of anger out. I want to be happy again.
