pbjwaffle

My name is Jamie, a derivative of James, which is a version of Jacob, which means “supplanter.” So, apparently the biblical Jacob was a hustler who cheated his brother Esau out of his birthright. He did end up serving as a slave for 14 years in order to get the girl he wanted, though. Romantic if you don’t count the fact that he gave in and married her sister after 7 years.

What a namesake! I need to have a talk with my Mom. But it’s all good because I am linking myself up with the Jaimes of the world and declaring myself “lovable,” stemming from very loosely-translated French, of course :)

I volunteer at a bunch of places and that gives me the warm fuzzies. But sometimes sheer laziness sets in.

I know this sounds horrific, but even on the suicide hotline one can start coddling the callers and thereby prevent them from finding a way to love life once more. At another place I used to volunteer, I pledged to make sure that a certain program that I developed is carried out to a grant’s specifications and I haven’t been to visit them since January!

Oh boy. I could slap myself around right now. At any rate, this goal now means something and I intend to get right on it before the grantors come calling and the people start jumping :(

...I don’t want someone to look at me like I’m trying to kidnap them or get them to join the Church of Scientology or anything like that! I just remember what it was like when I didn’t have a car and would look at all the drivers on the road and shake my head. Their lives seemed so easy!

Now I have been driving around for about 2 years and have yet to help out a single pedestrian. I guess the illegality thing ought to be a legitimate dissuasion, but the real truth of the matter is that my car is just too friggin’ messy for anyone to quickly jump in :(

If a random girl in an old station wagon offered you a ride, would you take it?

I just realized why my light bills are so high lately. I’ve been teaching myself to cook and bake, and using the stove and oven quite liberally.

Oh, man. It hurts! I really wanted to get some skills in that area. But, I literally have doubled the amount of electricity I normally use. My roommate looked like she might have an aneurysm when we found out how much we owe.

So I will stick to the microwave and toaster oven from now on. Le sigh…

As a lifelong vegetarian, I often feel guilty about the bastardly practices of factory dairy and egg farms. But…I still use cheese and such like it’s going out of style.

So I decided to do the right thing for 8.9 percent of the year at Lent and give them up. It sure is a good thing I just got my financial aid check because I had to basically buy a whole new, um, kitchen wardrobe. Flax seed to grind for egg replacer and all.

Seeing these exotic ingredients lying around is kind of exciting, though! I think I’ll be scientific about it and track my meals on FitDay.com to make sure I won’t deplete any of my reserves (except for fat, of course. I’m all for depleting my precious fat reserves :)

Yay hummus!

...and it worked out really well, for a while. He would ask for my advice regarding his current long-distance girlfriend and I would ask for a guy’s perspective about dating and such.

It felt like old times. Like we were finishing each other’s sentences, best friends, just not romantically involved. That was nice, for several months. Then I started getting hurt when he didn’t call for a few days, like a junkie in need of an intimacy fix. When he didn’t call on Christmas I was so upset. I was even neglecting my own social life to talk with him on the phone for hours.

He hasn’t called for some time and I’m glad. He wrote me an apologetic text message the other night telling me he would call, and of course, he didn’t. I guess I wanted to be a priority for him. It’s weird, because I really don’t want to be with him again. I don’t want to steal him away from his GF. I think I’m just reaching out for familiar territory since my last break-up.

I don’t know exactly how I’ll handle him when he does get around to calling. My best guess, and perhaps piece of advice for those considering friendship, is just to get busy with other things that make you happy. As alluring as it felt to have that connection back, I realize now that it was just holding me back from turning into a better person.

Last words, I promise!: This is the prayer of forgiveness that got me through the darkest days when I couldn’t stop obsessing about him and why he dumped me:

(His Name) – I love you, I bless you, I appreciate you. I thank you for this opportunity to grow. I forgive you for what I have done to myself and I release you to your greatest and highest good. Thank you God, Thank you God, Thank you God for (name) or someone much, much, much better!

I know it seems overly gracious, but you’ll come out feeling fresh and clean. Best of luck. Don’t let him steal your life away; he isn’t worth it.

Does that count? My head certainly told me I was going through withdrawal! I even started craving chocolate for the small amount of caffeine within it!

Decaf diet cola is not as appealing as regular for me; I think I can phase it out as well with water and lemonade. You all are right about the snacking phenomenon…

Good luck!

I finally bit the bullet and went to see my old dentist from childhood. Now that he doesn’t use that nauseating pink tutti-frutti tooth polish, I like him a whole better! Plus, he gives out really great freebies at the end. I got a whole big bottle of name-brand mouthwash and one of those spinning toothbrushes (batteries included). Having no cavities or root canals to take care of was the icing on the cake.

Vocab was definitely the least of my worries when it comes to the GRE, but I have been cheerfully humbled by a new web site called http://www.freerice.com. The premise is wonderfully simple: for every word that you define from several choices, they donate 10 grains of rice to hunger relief organizations.

A very satisfying way to study, I think.

Have you tried Statetris? It’s just like Tetris, but with countries. Lamentably, the energizing theme music is missing, but playing at “Hard” I have been able to memorize the shapes and positions of all of Europe even at various angles!

http://www.mapmsg.com/games/statetris/

I am a born doormat but last night I finally stood up for myself against my overbearing boyfriend. He said he treats me badly because he thinks I’m irresponsible and he has no respect for me. I ended it with dignity, got my stuff, and now I’m free!

Next I will tackle bigger and better risks that could potentially help others. Any suggestions?

Just decide to do it. Whatever may have happened in the past is irrelevant to the fact that you two can really benefit from the added happiness that unconditional caring brings. Besides, how many of us have never failed someone we love once or twice? In my case, I thought about my guilt all the time but felt afraid to reinitiate the relationship because I thought they had already written me off. Don’t write anyone off that wants to start again.

I am still undergoing training for the crisis hotline I’d like to volunteer for, but I intend to get through it. Let me tell you, this is heavy stuff! People have called in with the gun cocked and ready to go. They are in so much pain and it is your responsibility to connect with them so deeply that they will agree to stick around a little longer.

My friends think the methods we use are a little suspect, though. It involves the corny sort of “reflection of feelings” that people attribute so often to psychologists and such. If they say “I have no one to talk to. No one cares about me,” we say “You feel so alone right now.” But it is a proven physiological fact that in times of crisis the brain becomes so overwrought that no one can think ahead to the next step; some even forget the most basic information like their phone number or address. We must let them work through all of the many emotions swirling around in their head before they can figure out how to solve the problem at hand.

So that’s volunteering for a crisis/counseling hotline in a nutshell. Wish me luck! This is never going to be easy.

are excellent places to lose your inhibitions when it comes to dancing. Alcohol need not be involved! I would say that learning standards like Thriller help out too, but the easiest method is just to imitate those around you until you’re ready to bust out a move of your own…

Get down with your bad self!

is the order of the day. I sacrified 11” of my hair last night(I am a big baby; I cried afterwards). But if it meant that much to me, how much would it mean to someone without any hair at all?

So now I’ve got a chin-length bob, the shortest it’s been since I was in Oshkosh B’gosh! My boyfriend said that the long hair made me look regal. Now I am a fighter, he says. And it’s true! I feel sassy and energetic at the moment. Sure, I’m still me; shy around new faces, but I feel like I’m wearing a bold disguise.

You provide like no other. Thanks for the boots. J

Bring a voice recorder and get them to tell their story. You know, for posterity. Then they can do the same to you so as to make them feel less like they have one foot in the grave. My grandpa is so cuddly!

My little sister turns 18 soon. Just like a miniature mom, that gets me thinking. Our family is now at large in the world; with my mother selling the house soon and me thinking about moving abroad.

I yelled and cheered for her despite the requests for elegance and decorum. She is a huge part of student government, took honor and AP classes, was praised for her beauty and personality, and always had friends and guys at her side. I hope that one day she comes to understand the meaning of having to work and pine for something instead of having it come to you. But otherwise, I am quite proud of her and the zillion activities and commitments she juggled in high school and cannot wait to see what sort of person she becomes.

I was asked a question recently: what is an absolute truth for you? This I know, and it will never change: I love my family.

Boyfriends make the best teachers. I recommend learning on a romantic Japanese steakhouse date. :)

I think I’m a relationship magnet. My ex and I started talking about marriage one month into it (he was my first real bf and we were only 16 and 17 at the time). 5 years later, we broke up and I abstained from dating until about 4 months later when I met this new, great physicist who wants me to be his for the rest of our lives! And I’m pretty sure I feel the same way! Anyhow, the only thing I wish I could do now is tell off my ex for treating me so badly now that I know what boyfriends are supposed to do. But I can’t be petty. Lol pray for me…One of the things that really helped me to grow and become more complete is spirituality.