peasant36

The end of my sober Day 66 has arrived. Two months of total sobriety has meant that the things I need to sort in my own life have come sharply into focus. These are mainly financial concerns…

In the past I have hidden from my problems and worsened them by drinking… To look back on it, it’s pretty depressing. To look forward I can see I’m going to have to do a lot of work (and skip most of the playing) to get out of this financial situation. The temptation to drink away my worries is there, but I know that it’s totally not going to help, in fact it will compound my problems. And worse than that, it could confound my dreams.

Now that I’m sober I have a level of control over my life like I’ve had before… This is a daunting prospect… But also a liberating one. Rather than dazedly stumbling through life, I can consciously choose my destiny in a way I never could before. But I’m not used to that, it feels a bit like steering a car thats never been steered before and the steering is all rusted up.

I’m hoping it unrusts!

Anyway, enough of my ramblings – best of luck to everyone who’s quitting booze!

This has to wait til I have the money… Which will be a while. Hopefully within a year if my plans bear fruit. And then I’ll be able to see!!

Well my daily writing plan failed. My plan to use NaNoWrimo failed (i didn’d see the point in churning out 50K words of gibberish). But now my motivation is the good old fashioned thrill of having stories out there. Although I have only submitted a handful of stories in the past, just having them out there was pretty exciting, a bit like having a lottery ticket with slightly better odds. And getting nice rejection letters was a real boost. So my plan is to get back into the habit of trying to have at least a couple of stories “out there” at a time, just for the excitement of it.

And you never know, one might get published.