I seem to be getting healthier. That’s something. I did a lot of walking today and I am not suffering as badly as last time. My jeans are looser. Yay.
Stella's Life List
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1. stop sabotaging myself every time I approach success
1 entry . 24 cheers2 people -
2. find a healthier way of living
5 entries . 2 cheers1 person -
3. be more confident
5 cheers10,245 people -
4. take care of myself
8 cheers280 people -
5. never eat fast food again
1 entry . 4 cheers42 people -
6. live simply
4 cheers3,258 people -
7. stop wasting time
3 cheers3,555 people -
8. Get organized
1 entry . 2 cheers6,055 people -
9. Find a Religion
2 entries . 1 cheer122 people -
10. improve my typing speed and accuracy
1 entry4 people -
11. work through the prompts and exercises in my books on writing
2 entries . 2 cheers1 person -
12. create a zine
1 entry . 1 cheer34 people -
13. learn a new language
1 entry . 3 cheers1,644 people -
14. create a visual goals notebook that lets me see my progress
2 entries . 3 cheers2 people -
15. live abroad
1 entry . 3 cheers1,302 people -
16. Keep up with my laundry
2 entries . 1 cheer147 people -
17. change my name
2 entries492 people -
18. Make my bed every day
1 entry . 1 cheer178 people -
19. be more serious
1 entry29 people -
20. Improve my Karma.
2 cheers225 people
I have developed some problems with the soles of my feet, and they are getting worse pretty rapidly. I am having difficulty at this point even walking 2 blocks, to the point that doing so puts me in absolute agony for about a week after.
This is pretty distressing, and will have to be resolved before I can move forward. Unfortunately, my doctor refuses to look at my feet, because she says it’s just my weight, and I can’t quite seem to explain in a way that she understands that I was even heavier and fine with walking several miles at a time, several days a week over several months, but this pain came out of nowhere and is getting in the way of my whole life, not just this goal.
This may seem like a vague and unmeasurable goal, but I will know when I’ve reached it. I am really angry at myself because I got caught up in a social situation tonight and instead of doing the right thing and staying off the gossip train, I climbed aboard and said a lot of stupid crap. I was pretty much just mirroring and amplifying what was going on, and I am really angry with myself now for not just walking away when I caught myself doing it.
It’s fun to feel like I fit in for a little while, but I feel like crap now for some of the things I said. :(
