1. What did I learn last week? That I thought he was my love and I think I am not. I think he likes to talk to me. and now I think he is messing with my mind, my reactions. I dont enjoy it as much.
2. What was my greatest accomplishment over the past week? packing, working, getting kids to Drs and me.
3. Which moment from last week was the most memorable and why? memorable when I was verbally lectured and am acting like it was helpful. What a liar I am.
4 the #1 thing I need to accomplish this week? cut back on thinking of someone who I am in love with . Change it to like or fondness.
5. What can I do right now to make the week less stressful? pack more. call the hauler
6. What have I struggled with in the past that might also affect the upcoming week?
My image. I feel old, 51 is old. I want to be liked by my friends and I think I look bad and ugly and they dont enjoy seeing my down face.
Cannot help it.
Turn off the webcam.
7. What was last week’s biggest time sink? talking too much on skype.
8. Am I carrying any excess baggage into the week that can be dropped?well, just that I rate myself according to how much this man seems to like me.
I think he has lost a lot of interest and gained a lot of arrogance due to me being so caring and loving.
9. What have I been avoiding that needs to get done? well, I need to move and pack and throw stuff out, and work. Quit thinking someone is in love with me.
Just quit ,
10. What opportunities are still on the table? to meet other guys!
11. Is there anyone I’ve been meaning to talk to? anyone other than my obsession.
12. Is there anyone that deserves a big thank you? my self?anyone but My obsession!
13. How can I help someone else this coming week? anyone but my obsession!
14. What are my top 3 goals for the next 3 years? move, stay healthy, teach the kids good things.. meet my love.
15. Have any of my recent actions moved me closer to my goals? moving, deciding to change curriculum… and realizing I dont have a chance with M. Face it. I am old , too old!
16. What’s the next step for each goal? facing facts with my move, the kids schooling choices for their books and start taking stock of what I want and have to offer a love.
This LDR is killing me.
.17. What am I looking forward to during the upcoming week? switching up my talking time with my so called LDR.
He is not available , is too faraway and probably still just thinks I am a good friend.
I had my chance and blew it.
18. What are my fears? that I will miss him too much and not fully understand his true feelings and blow it again.
Fearful that I will never be as happy as I have when connected to him.
Fearful that I will regret giving up on him.. fearful also that I will waste another yr, already been 3…
with feelings for him that are too onesided.
I do more writing and more devotion personally.
He is more general and universal( can get boring) but he is someone to talk to, another adult, and he knows me.
He is funny lots of the time…
but he also talks more than me, does not think I am that funny and says I need to love myself.
bah, I thought I already did.
Why is he always right?
“please forgive me, thank you, i love you and I am sorry” today and the rest of the week.
19. What am I most grateful for?