Sometimes, a supposedly relaxing holiday could turn stinky out of sudden just because of sudden submerge of some malicious rubbish that degrade your taste, undermine your patience and power, disrespect your choice, trying to victimize you by match-making with some filtered old junks.
if u dont give those idiots a slap they enjoyed take u as an object to match around w/o considering your taste yet seeing your quality. fxxking distateful idiots. i was in holidays. i didn’t prepare to war when i step on the road to get away. what i expected was beautiful encounters.
Life is a bastard!
this is the man reason i start to get ready for fast response.a mercy to those idiots just a cruelty to myself, leaving myself loathsome traumas, regrets and self-hate. regret that i wasn’t mean and stern enough with the jokes which were not funny, just fxxking disgusting, regret that i didn’t give the monkeys a sound slap!
yes, instant response,revenge, whatever u name it. vomit to the face, not to swallow.
This bitch still managed to move and run away, talk.
Next time i’ll make sure the virus will either kneel down or break at least 2 teeth.
she definitely need a lesson. unfortunately she mess with a wrong person.
not everyone are weak and stupid in countries that economically slower. no everyone are `somebody’ to show off abroad where they’re from.
some bad seed really like to tell to what to do or not when they came to others’ place that people have been living there for ages.
these junks like to eat some fists to shut them up.
I’m so sick, sick, sick and tired
Of working just to be retired
I don’t want to get that far
I don’t want your company car
Promotions ain’t my thing
Name badges are not interesting
It’s much easier for me, see
To stay at home with Richard and Judy
Whoa whoa, oh oh, away from here
Whoa whoa, oh oh, away from here
Whoa whoa, oh oh, away from here
Whoa whoa, oh oh, away from here
I’m fed up of early mornings
Wake up calls are getting boring ‘round here
Feet dragging on the pavement
The same people with the same arrangement
Oh irony can be quite funny
You’re making other people money
My working day has just begun
It’s not exactly what I would call fun
I want to wake up in the afternoon
Daytime TV and my favorite tune
‘Cause it is much easier for me
To stay at home with Richard and Judy
Whoa whoa, oh oh, away from here
Whoa whoa, oh oh, away from here
Whoa whoa, oh oh, away from here
Whoa whoa, oh oh, away from here
Whoa whoa, oh oh, away from here
Whoa whoa, oh oh, away from here
Whoa whoa, oh oh, away from here
Away, away, away, away from
Saturday is your only highlight
When you go out and live the high life
Meeting up with other people
Your interaction with the weak and feeble
At least when all is said and done
You wouldn’t be the only one
To be a slave to the modern wage
Your crappy weekend is your only escape
I want to wake up in the afternoon
With daytime TV and my favorite tune
‘Cause it is much easier for me
To stay at home with Richard and Judy
Read more: THE ENEMY – AWAY FROM HERE LYRICS
For me, Judea was most sympathized.
My baptism class teacher told me, or, almost all fundamental christians told:” Believe that everything is god’s plan and god’s will. w/o God’s permission, nothing can happen.”
so, they keep telling me that Jesus came to die for us. ok, here i got serious, and asked my baptism teacher word by word: “so u r sure ” Jesus came to die for us”? right?” ” yes,”
if that so, w/o Judea’s betrayal, how could Jesus managed to be caught and crucified successfully? Why then Judea was blamed and excused as a traitor? w/o him, how could Jesus made himself die for us? Judea, at the fundamental part, playing an utmost important role to assist Jesus to fulfill the great prophecy of `God loves us so much that he sent his only son, jesus came to die for us’. Judea was either a satan or angel. We’re told that as if he’s a satan, he betrayed jesus for a cheap deal. if this was not supposed to be the God’s plan of jesus’ death. then what? satan was more powerful than God to mess up his plan, that actually God wanted to strike Jesus’ died with lightning? with accidents? with plague? ??? if not, didn’t Judea just playing his bad-guy role in disguise to assist Jesus moving to God’s plan – TO DIE FOR US? logically, he should be an angel, by assisting in God’s work.
Poor Judea, apparent he has no free will. he had to betray Jesus. otherwise, Jesus can’t be able to die for us.
poor Judea, he died out of guilt of self-blame, and being blamed as a traitor.was he? or a unappreciated mistaken sacrifice?
this `teacher’ couldn’t give me a direct answer. guess what. she used one of my answer to myself to answer me! smart enough to be a copycat of someone learning from her!
that’s it. if what can i get from my doubts is the exact answer i gave to myself, and the so-called teacher cpoied and pasted her student’s answer to answer back the student. what’s the point? who’s the teacher?
Don’t fxxking waste my time!
I wonder what make them think they r qualified enough to teach if they don’t even know how to explain the basis question that they promote proudly?
just a bunch of religious nerds who want a pastime to feel good about themselves by `working for God’.
The baptism has no credentia in it.
In mass education, they preach `forgiveness’, `non-violence’, not `justice’. nothing, not a thing!
- Gandhi showed how he practice what he preached. he did. people cared about him when he didn’t eat. because he is Gandhi. how about insignificant civilians like u n me, like the africans. how many people died of hunger everyday n who cares? if u and i strike imitating Gandhi will it work out? who cares whether u eat or not? people only care to make sure that nobody makes a mess.
- Buddha had many good sayings about anger n hatred, but rarely or even hardly about Justice. why? here we go the 2-in-1 concept of karma with reincarnation, which hard to make a sense in westerners’ mind. did he practice what he preached? i don’t know. did he need to? he was a prince. his dad was still a king even gautama running away to be a hermit. he wasn’t alone anyway, he was accompanied by his cousin Ananda.who dare to mess with a king’s son? did he need revenge? well, the story was about past life’s drama that brought to current lives to discuss about the vengeance. past life is a vague concept relatively to present life’s reality.
Unlike Jesus, Gautama was well respected n hosted like VIP by many rulers. His influence was over 2000years although he never be frank on why he refused to ordain women as his disciplnes and even set a double standard condition to his own mum before she was approved to follow him.
- Then, those christian counselors told me to be `christ-like’. they told me that Jesus was ALSO betrayed. I told them Jesus already knew it from the beginning he was gonna be denied by Peter n betrayed by Judea,even in a specific time. i don’t. she doesn’t either. because we’re laymen, not the God’s only son.
reading till here, do u think that i’m argumentative? if yes, pls leave now. because u r not open for an open & healthy discussion, and i can project u as a authoritative person especially to kids’ life questions. so leave now bfore i continue.
...Then, Jesus told us to offer our right cheek if s’one slap us on our left’s. this was what i did. i think Jesus was meant to teach the wolves, not the sheeps. Not suitable for women. Finally, before he died, jesus ask forgiveness from Father for those who tortured him b’coz of their ignorance. yes, he was jesus, the son of God. he even resurrected after that. can u & me do that? if not so, u must be joking asking others to be `christ-like’! and who invented this idea – to be `christ-like’? did jesus himself? nope. someone,from the hierarchy of the department. do they talk with responsibilty? if it works, great. if not, it’s still the safest way to say a positive thing to say even it’s BS. it’s smart to play it safe in public speaking. k, ” u obey what i say, not to follow what i do”. that’s the reality! in this world, people r inclined to cheer positive lies than negative frankness.
so, do they talk—- JUSTICE?
yes, they told u. God will judge. u wait.
is there any difference if i response instinctively w/o depending on God for everything little thing?
no answer. but we saw those vatican priests, pastors, monks molested little kids, and fxxk the female believers in the name to “deliver them”. i saw nun and monk yelling on petty matter. c’mon, we have jokers and so there are many jokes.
bought a ticket to get way in a `paradise’ before i start a new life. this place has been one of my dream place, the name itself is romantic enough. it’s called Shangrila. used to read that a western soldier who was stranded there by accident wrote a book about this place and said that it’s one of the purest place in the world.
i’m escaping there. yes, Shangrila, i’m coming to you. once a decision is made, the feeling of relief is so incredible.and, `looking-forward’ follows. confusing, hesitating, struggling for months an finally, got an ideal final date to walk away.
12/5/2013 (sunday)
for the first time after ages of idleness, i finally drag myself to dip myself inside the water. after few fail attempt to get in the water in another swimming pool, i carefully observe if any ‘reptiles’ checking around for fishy purpose. then, brave myself and enter the pool quickly. instantly, spotted when i turned my head. the cat’s fur are all standing up. beware, also told myself to be open, to be more acceptance living as an adult. no longer a little girl.hid behind the artificial waterfall. he acted fast. got inside the water.to be less explicit, this bold white thing swam to other side for about 10-15 min, then here he came! i stayed in the corner behind the waterfall, faced straight to the outside with stern look. he halted, then back off! not my type. appearance and attitude. he spotted me, didn’t even saw me clearly, i was just an `any girl’ that he can grab on the way. cheap creature from an expensive country. contrasted strongly the beautiful encounter with `brownie’ 2 days ago.
i used to have this `best friend’ of mine,skimming to ride my cool bike when we first met for an appointment and then cancelled the last minute i rode a few kilometer to meet her, without even a `sorry’. i didn’t know i show angry with people eventhough i felt no good about it. i didn’t use to blame others. later years, she continued keep me long wait for appointments and even didn’t turn up w/o calling. never a sorry but when i decided to leave her, she smelt it and came calling for my birthday, even showed up in face to shake hand for my graduation.
from the very beginning, i didn’t mind her outlook rather incompatible to be friend with me. i told myself not to be a girl put priority to opposite sex than the same gender like an inferior desperato.
never suspect, never realized that i was treated like a fool by an ugly girl that i tried my best not to judge people from the cover. unfortunately, she just proved herself ugly from inside out.
perhaps, one her best karma was the guy she was crazy about didn’t give shit to her but approached me the first time he meet me (he didn’t know i was her friend). stupid enough, i resent him because of her and never got to know this guy.
i am a hopeless fool!
i don’t know what to response if one day she came up `nicely’ again to me. i mean, i don’t know what is the best nasty thing i can give back to her without impulsion.
Woke up, the sleazy Belgic junkie image immediately came into the mind. break my peace of mind and negatively spoil my mood out of nowhere in the morning! the subtle verbal harrassment that he had made and stupid conversation that i tried to put up with. but it didn’t seem to turn out the way i plan.
i hate being crept by this sleazy thought. i hate it invade to ruin me by giving a such a shit to start my day. don’t know why it came,following by another similar reptiles’ memory… my clean mind after a sleep was immediately polluted and stained by these fxxking cheap vibration right after the moment i woke up. how fxxking shit it was! too late to pray for help. i’m thankful for the cute kids to salvage me from the shithole after shifting my focus from my subconscious world. Thanks Yaya!
The reality is…people want/take benefits from what they’re skeptical with. “The concept of God” & moral-related questions have been controversial issues which never come to a conclusion.
but, when u observe carefully outside the controversy, see how those skeptics bless and take blessing in the time of difficult victory and disaster, we say ” Good luck” even though we don’t think they’re superstitious. We receive ” God bless you” as a good vibe even though we don’t think God exists, yet we get offended when people say `fuck’ or `fucker’ to us even though we are f-ker who enjoy to `fxxk. but why then it is not a good vibe to us? why the seemingly abstract, dowdy, boring belief’s thing we perceive subconsciously as a blessing eventhough we don’t believe it?
and why bother to have serendipity in another hand if we think that we ourselves are our own God who can take control of everything in our life without the care from an invisible supernatural power? admit it or not? what are we humans?
this is the reality ( not the truth) i observe in this world so far as i live.
The reality is funny enough, as humans feel ashamed of what they like to do the most – sexual intercourse. admit it or not? since when and by whom humans are taught to be offended when others throw us the `FXXK’ word? and, don’t know who started the mindset to say `fxxk’ or any sexual-related words which would make humans freak out taking it as insults or curses which widely used during the time of negative situations?
don’t we, humans DESIRE, LOVE sex? don’t we, humans worship penises as sacred things in shrines? don’t we humans appreciated vagina as the door of pleasure? why then they all turn out into an offense & humiliation to insult others?
don’t we are told sex is the sacred gift from God? so since when & how comes it became a scandalous taboo for a man to cover up his affairs with other women behind his partner while he was taking pride to sex around with girls in another hand. so, he takes pride `and’ feels ashamed at the same time? clinton announced:” I don’t have any affairs with that woman!” clearly. word by word, denying what had he enjoyed doing. He, for sure taking pride as a man while he was doing it. but how come shrunk like a rat when it was in the light? does he take pride being a man or not? A great intelligent professional suddenly shifting sharp into a rat within a finger-tip trial. the trial here doesn’t mean the sexual temptation, but where is the gut of a M-A-N( cocky gender) to be confident of what he had done? the trial here also means the natural feeling of shame for what he LOVES to do!! hahaha. strangely funny humans!
if sex is so normal & good, why we have such a natural negative instinctive response towards what we longing to do (sometimes even at any cost for some people)?
doesn’t it sound ironic and more than funnier?
yes, as i said, this is the reality that i observe in this world (i don’t said that it’s a truth).
‘Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen’.(Hebrews 11.1, NKJV)
It said:” Faith and gratitude is dispensable for our mental health”.
while i’m writing this, i’m thinking about a person i met yesterday. the thought intruded my mind when i woke up, telling me he was trying to hold me for conversation.
however, anyway, it was just a flash of aborted serendipity, which we did’t even now each other name. i was too rushy, not composed & confident enough.
20.30 -10.30 i was a20 minutes late fro work. rang the bell, self-intro-ed.welcomed warmly by Julie gripping my hand while leading me in. the whole group was mostly retired age.some with deformed faces. didn’t like with smell of the house. nothing new from the bible study. the study was Psalm 14.
after the prayer section, there was a birthday dinner for one of the member. i was defensive at the beginning out of the past experience with some religious idiots, but was mesmerized by their bubbly, cute, cheery, chatty interactive during the dinner. it surprised me to find out that this group actually was `young’! i was moved. different from some dark & white old pigs that disgusted me, these chinese retired uncles gave me fatherly feeling. funny somemore Teh & Julie chatting about the recent election issue. In addition, i ate a lot eggplant Yong Tau Fu which I’ve been longing.
Apart from a preachy tomboy who was newly the church paying this group a visit & trying to promote her upcoming speech (with admission fee), i was glad to b surrounded by such a good vibe.
14.30-17.00 went LY plaza to change the broken desk fan, buy a new adapter for backing up. encountered someone at p1 booth, where there was no one but left a `Lunch’ notice. He told me smilingly that he came here yesterday with the exact same thing appeared- nobody but the `Out for Lunch’ notice. He spoke with different accent, not sure he is Philippine or local. neatly in his deep purple corporate wear, guy with brownish skin is appealing. we both stood there for a few more minutes didn’t know what to do or continue waiting…? i spontaneously advise another better option to make payment. when i about to leave the scene, he asked me for the info of the my advice. if he was just another person, i would go steadily, looked at his eyes n nodded with smile when i left. but jst bcoz he seemed attractive to me, from his taste & temperament, i left abruptly out of butterfly, ending the interaction instead of trying to make the episode last longer.
although i got the parking fine ticket, i was blossomed enough of meeting a sunshine to be irritated by the annoyance.
voila, it’s ok. just a small beautiful episode.
17.30-19.30 work. played a language games with Jamie. She was immediately rejuvenated from her miserable boredom & began agitated out of control. when she lifted up one of her leg on top of a chair, i asked her freeze like that forever. she felt much funnier and more than happy to comply.
0:00 -11:00 cheering the whole night for 6 hrs. slept from 7.40am to 11am. woke up to toilet. opened the curtain, it was annoyingly sunny & hot. tended to sleep back yet the pressure of urgency was pushing my peace & i managed to conquer the lazy demon to drag my body up from the quick sand (bed), awaken myself with shower, and WALK OUT!
12-12.30 – drove to twin towers. friday is muslim praying day. luckily the congestion had yet to start. deliberately walked through Isetan.
12.30- 13.30 fortunate enough to have my favourite meal without hassle. that junky dog didn’t on shift. however, i was still sensitive with the uniform who walked pass. it was almost out of table in lunch time hour. suddenly a middle-aged man trying to share a seat in front of me. i was annoyed & immediately said that it was taken. c’mon, there are many extra single seat to share with guy! fxxking quit robbing my peace of mind to enjoy my food by sitting in front of me pressing my head down on the plate all the time. goddam it, have a little common sense,give me a break!
13.30- 14.00 out from lunch place. drove and parked.
14.00 -14.30 chinese visa application. the most essential part of the day. done. staffs were not too bad. but i forgot my umbrella again.surprisingly realized that BOH plantation office was there. it was a bangalow with a big raintree.
12.30am feeling tired after shower due to the 3-hour sleep the next before. but was invaded by the sweet memory & feeling today.awake for an hour. went to pc trying to write out my mind. didn’t. just cheers & browsed around. went back to sleep around 1.30am.
1.How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
15
2.Which is worse, failing or never trying?
never try
3.If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
- i’m imprisoned by norms. nope, to be more precise, i imprison myself with the norms. I like so many things i dont do because the psychology of ` the grass always greener on the other side”.
4.When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
shame on me, yes. will shut up and just do it.
5.Who do u love? what are u doing about it?
noone. waiting for him to submerge
6.If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
artist, performer
