pinkette

The thing with me is, Im in a serious relationship, and i kinda feel like even when we first started going out a a long time ago, my friends distanced themselves from me, dont really know why.. and it didnt help that I was just completely fascinated with this new guy in my life, and this made it worse.

But the past year ive been getting closer to them, especially my best friend, thing is, i feel like i dont know whats going on when im with them all. They talk about guys, and who they hooking up with, and i feel they’re kind of immature, i think I feel this way because being in my relationship has matured me so much. I have really changed, ive grown up so quickly.

I feel like im years ahead my friends emotionally, but that doesnt stop me from needing them.
I need my girlfriends. I feel AWESOME when im hanging out with them knowing ive got an amazing boyfriend to spend time with later.

It’s just a great feeling. How should I manage this whole thing with my friends, should I just somehow act differently, be more in tune to their single lives? I just want to relate to them more, i want to be on the same level, and not feel so out of place.

xxx

I dont really know what my problem is, im not sure if its shyness.. because once someone gets talking to me, im bubbly and my usual self.. but the hardest part for me is saying Hi, im.. and taking it from there.

It’s difficult for me because my boyfriend is so confident and out going and everyone is drawn to him ,so i kinds just go with the flow.. but when he goes to the bar for a drink or leaves me for a moment im kinda like.. SHIT, feel like a tart because i feel so awkward.

I think maybe i should rise to the occasion a bit more when we go out, like try and match his confidence, but then isnt thay pretending to be someone im not? see i dont want to do that..

It’s tough. I just know I better make a change now because im starting college next year,, and i think i’ll have a miserable time if i carry on this way.

I want to be comfortable, and i can only achieve that if i feel comfortable – knowing i can meet new ppl at any time without freaking out.

I get moody kinda often, and im not too sure what the causes are.. i think it might be that i like to be in control of my life, (and generally have soem control over most ppl in it) and so.. when things dont go to plan or when something changes I get irritated, I also take a lot of my bad moods out on my boyfriend, which i know is SO unfair especially because he has all the reasons in the world to be in a bad mood and yet he’s always positive and cheerful (dont know how he does it) I think something that could help is to just let go.

And make a promise to yourself that you wont open your mouth when u’re in a bad mood until you’ve thought about what you’re going to say.. and its not bad. I think that would help because.. actually trying to change the outcome of the bad mood, might actually change the bad mood. I think that makes sense?

I just really need to get over myself because my bad moods can sometimes cause havoc in relationships..