pinkeyelemonade

Redbull is gross. Whichever country it’s in is REALLY far from here…but them floats are too crazy to view on a screen alone. The whole thing confuses me. I like it.

I really need to do something with my life. I haven’t done anything to make my parents proud in awhile. It’s not me anymore, but it couldn’t hurt to rewind.

This has taken YEARS of contemplation.

I’ve come to terms with the absolutely shallow base of this goal.

I’ve considered the possibility that they will leak like Pam Anderson’s did a few years back.

Gross.

I have lived with the chest of a 13-year-old for nine years.

Surprisingly a few months back something happened to me and I realized that I’m not THAT hideous. Still, a human dumpsite, but could look worse.

I am constantly mistaken for the age range of 16 – 17. Perhaps it’s the ta-ta’s after all. In any case you’d think Rick Moranis fucked up again in his shrink-ray lab.

LYKE, OMG I’M SOOO HIGH MAINTAINENCE.

Yeah, well. So what. I have decided. I’m getting a boob job.

In late July, a show will be going on up in Salem, which ends the day before my 22nd. It’s a huge camping/summer recreational/festival site. I will wait until it is dark and quiet and grab a couple friends who will help me to grow the balls to do it, and we [at least I] will get it done.

I must have passed over 200 or so REACTIONS to this clip. It’s even been parodied on Family Guy. But no luck for me. Apparently a cartoon dog has better know-how than I on where to find the good shit.

Called up several people, the only two available to hop the bars were Mom and Wes. Ash and Dickbeard came to our dinner at the Kountry Kastle, and I was happy to see them there. <3 They all made me feel loved and way too sober. Thru the eve I yelled "I'M 21! I REMEMBER HAVING LOTS OF FUN AT MY 16TH BIRTHDAY PARTY WHICH WAS FIVE YEARS AGO WHICH MAKES ME 21 THIS YEAR!!!" and other garden variety nonsense, many times out the backseat window at people I didn't know who would either pretend they didn't hear me, chuckle, or yell "FUCK YEAH!". Children were not spared from my dumb either. At the liquor store I purchased a few baby Smirnoffs and a Minute Made and that is how I kept up the consistency. Did not get thru too much liquor but I am a lightweight and thus need little. Was dropped off and immediately passed out on the couch to avoid vomiting.

I do need some improvements.

What can I do? Unplug what I’m not using. Buy local produce and other locally made foods (I have at least been stocking up on all the organic I can find). Get a bike and ride it as often as possible. Donate to the recycling center to help make them bigger and better, and to other organizations devoted to earth/energy conservation. Reuse my clutter (as in find new uses for them). Buy products with biodegradable/recyclable packaging. Take home more recyclables from work and recycle them myself. Update the earth with my own planted stuff. And the like.