I'm doing 5 things

pinkicecube3's Life List

  1. 1. stop procrastinating
    30,417 people
  2. 2. not be depressed
    155 people
  3. 3. be a famous musician
    25 people
  4. 4. stop buying things i dont need.
    1 cheer
    283 people
  5. 5. find my biological father
    1 entry
    689 people
Recent entries
find my biological father

I was a mistake… my mom was irresponsible for the first time in her life, got drunk in France, had a one-night stand, and went back to the US. She didn’t know she was pregnant, so my father doesn’t even know he has a daughter. I feel so empty all of the time… and I’m always afraid of people leaving me or hurting me… even the parents that adopted me. I know my birth mom, and I see her once a year or so. She has three more kids even though she can’t afford them, and she is engaged. I found a picture in one of his CDs of a naked ex-girlfriend of his, and I don’t know whether to tell my mom or not. I just can’t understand why I’m the only one she didn’t keep. I just feel like I can’t fit in anywhere, and like I’m always alone.

get out of depression
Tonight sucks.

It’s so hard to be positive when you keep getting shot down. You just keep getting up, and trying again, putting faith in yourself and trying to the best you can for yourself and your friends/family, trying to stay optimistic, and they don’t understand how you can feel like this… But I’ve tried one too many times and gotten shut down. The stupid thing is that know I know what is causing the problem, but now I’m too low in self esteem to try it again. I just want to escape civilization for a while… but I’m stuck here because I’m not even old enough to drive.


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