porcelainsky

If its that nice handbag I saw at JCPenny today or the smell of Cinnibon in the food court…I need self discipline badly. I grew up as an only child. My parents couldnt really give me anything I wanted so I just don’t understand why I cant say no to myself. I’m supporting myself threw college and need to save every dime.

I have always had a fear of escalators. This has to be one of my biggest fears I’ve had most of my life and I’m not sure why. I remember going to malls with my grandma and freezing everytime she’d step on one. She’d either have to come back on and get me or someone else had to coax me on.

Now I just take elevators or steps. I never really thought much about my old fear until a few years back. I try very hard but I failed year after year.

The mall I’ve been trying to over come this fear had a shooting where 8 victims lost their lives. I thought about trying this again just before the shooting took place. I will never stop going to that mall. I will never let the shooter know he won. This is more motivation for me to get on that escalator and face my fear.

I never understood why people are so big on labels. People call each other fake because they don’t fit under a category. Somewhere who knows where a person once decided that you have to be this and that to fit into this. No one should ever define who anyone else should be like.

I tend to lean to the democratic side in politics but as I tell people this, they assume I am for abortion and yada yada.

I love wearing dark makeup and clothing. I also like to dress in bright colors with hardly any makeup. I listen to Enya and Josh Groban but I also have a taste for hip hop music. I am a unique person but sometimes I worry what people think of me. And that has to stop. I need to express myself the way that comes naturally to me.