possiblynotmaybe

so i’m not obese or anything, but at 23 my metabolism is slowing down. i used to be able to eat whatever i wanted and not exercise. but that is all changing. i’ve started working out everyday at the gym. this is something i’ve been particularly afraid of because of my disability….i’m not even sure what it is, but its hereditery. and it makes it difficult for me to do physical activities. i cannot run or jump. sit ups arent easy. and i have difficulty going upstairs. so…..the gym can be a scary place. but i figure if i at least walk on the treadmill and use some of the machines i can burn some of the flub off. i am 4’11 and 105 pounds right now. most people say “well, you dont weigh much at all”, but you have to consider my height and build. i am very little to begin with. and my 10 lb weight gain is 10% of my body weight; gaining such a high percentage makes a BIG difference. so there you go….

one of my employees said to me, “i told that mexican that he needs to speak my language or go back to his own country. they dont belong here anyways.” i corrected her by saying that he was actually from peru and to think that your language is the most superior of all is a very arrogant, ethnocentric way of thinking. i explained to her that this young peruvian was trying to learn english and was doing well. she responded with, “i really didnt mean it.” this shows me that she was either repeating something she heard, or that she was saying what she thought she was supposed to say. this young lady is only 17; maybe we need to start with the youth—they are influential and have almost a clean palette for thinking.

i’m not even dating anyone right now. sad. i feel like i have been in love once where it was mutual. and it was the best feeling ever. i want to go there again.