prokaryote

I want to do this because when I start to get dependent on caffeine it actually ends up making me have less energy during the day. I also get achy when I have a lot of caffeine and I don’t think that’s a good sign. Unfortunately, when I withdraw I don’t just get headaches I get nauseous too.

I’ve done this b/f, but for some reason it feels harder now.

My roommate is always saying how you have to do what you love and not care what other people think of you because she knows that I don’t really do either of these things. I’m glad I have her to talk to. It’s hard for me to understand how I could do anything other than something I love. It seems absurd that I have to find myself. Shouldn’t I already come equipped with this knowledge? Idk why it’s so hard for me to not care what people think of me. I’m also really out of touch w/ what I like. I think I’ve been this way since high school. It makes me sad to think about this. I’m kind-of afraid that once I figure out what I like and then try to do it that I’ll die in some horrible way as a twist of fate or something. I know that my other goal of beating depression is tied to this one b/c I’m depressed b/c Idk WTH I’m doing, where I’m going, what I value, what I want, etc.

I live right by the water and I can’t swim! I never learned as a kid and I feel so dumb! Unfortunately I don’t see me learning until next summer or maybe taking swimming in college if they have it. :(