I'm doing 5 things
i know that every relationship is different…so i always try to take that into account. but i really feel like i need some advice here, because i’m not exactly doing well on my own at the moment…so if anyone could respond to this, that would be amazing.
i’m almost 20 years old and i have been dating the same guy off and on for five years—since our freshman year of high school. we’ve each dated a couple of other people during our ‘off’ spells…but we’ve always come back to each other.
he left for college almost two years ago…and he goes to school about an hour and a half away…and i stayed in town for school. when he first left for college, we maintained our relationship pretty well….but after about a semester, we broke up because we argued a lot and i think it was hard not always having each other there physically.
right now, especially, he is so busy with school because he’s making really good grades and he’s taking really hard classes (which i completely support and i am so proud of him for) but as far as our relationship goes (friendship or anything more than that) he is very unsure of everything. for awhile now, he’s been really scared of commitment, he doesn’t want to be tied down…we’ve had short spells of talking and not talking…i’ve been trying to figure out what to do about the whole situation.
currently he is dating another girl, but she goes to school there with him…so its convenient for him at the time being because he pretty much just can’t be alone. i’m no so much worried about the girl, as i am him pushing his feelings for me to the side because he is really good at avoiding his problems, and i fear that if he avoids it enough…it will go away. the last time i saw him was a week ago because he came home for the weekend, and we hung out twice. i still sensed attatchment, but it feels like as soon as he goes back to school…he can avoid the whole thing again because of how busy he is.
many times when we hang out or talk i get mixed signals and that’s what i need advice about.
he’ll insinuate things dealing with us and dealing with the future; such as suggestively saying i should go on his family vacation with him this summer, saying that his younger sister wants us to get married…. but at other times when we talk he says things like: “i’m really busy with school and i can’t be there for you right now”...”even if i did live in the same city as you, that doesn’t mean we would be together”...”
he’s a very fickle person. i know for a fact that the only way i can move on is if i want to…and i don’t want to. but my biggest problem is not so much whether or not to move on, but i don’t know if i’m hanging on to something that isn’t there…or just hanging onto our amazing past. obviously, i know that only he can tell me how he really feels…but i don’t think he knows what he wants right now. i hate seeing no light at the end of the tunnel. i want to be okay with being alone…but i just don’t know if i should give him a lot of space, or if i should constantly make myself available so he knows how i still feel. heeeeellllp. please.<3 i don't want to give up, but then again...i don't want to be waiting for nothing.
