rachybeanz999

okay so i weighed myself this morning…and i lost 4pounds!!:) not as much as last week but i think its showing :) i LOOK slimmer..and i FEEEEEEEEL skinnier too :) yay almost there…WOO!

x x x

Wow i haven’t been on this in a bit. Well last time i posted i had lost 9 pounds in my first week which i was really happy about :) but unfortunatly ive been eating everyday since i weighed myself :( so now im scared to get on the scales and weigh myself cus im terrified ive put on weight. eek someone help.
yesterday i had a chicken ceaser salad, a bananna 5 strawberries and a bowl of rice.
today ive had a bowl of soup (113cals) a bowl of rice (378cals) and 8 chicken dippers..dont know how many calories they are but still..id say alot :( ugh shoot me please….......

[TINCHY]
It was nothing but a quick think
kids games, kiss chase, just a quick fling
now i’m hoping you never go missing
now i’m telling you, you can hold this ring, watch how it glistens

it was done as quick as the wind blows
didn’t think i would ever be involved
so i even wrote a song called ‘don’t go’
now its just you and me on a love row

Dappy like dino us two tip toes duck dive get low
and now i care less about who knows
now we’re deep in way past intro dappy explain yo

see never did i think a boy like me would be in need
when all i really wanted was to have some fun
now im losing my head, im telling you one thing
you’re number one

[CHORUS]
see i don’t understand how you’re number one
when it was just a fling before now, you’re the one
see all i did was blink twice, from my homie to my only
number one

ah uh uh oh
ah uh uh oh
ah uh uh oh
ah uh uh oh

[TINCHY]
yo
it was all now never planned no after
it was like games jokes laughter
live for the moment, left it all open
now i’m in deep, flames, lava, breathe, karma

and now i’m stating, see i never saw this in my daydream
its really you that i’m fully rating
and the days here no more waiting

pay it all wise to the smart man raised him
i was so hurt, pain, aching
on the wrong path then a good girl saved him
that’s why im letting her know she’s amazing

see never did i think a boy like me would be in need
when all i really wanted was to have some fun
now i’m losing my head, i’m telling you one thing
you’re number one

[CHORUS]
see i don’t understand how you’re number one
when it was just a fling before now, you’re the one
see all i did was blink twice from my homie to my only
number one

you lift me off the ground
i always want you around
i ain’t gunna let nothing get in the way
ill never let nothing get in the way

you lift me off the ground
i always want you around
i ain’t gunna let nothing get in the way
ill never let nothing get in the way

[TINCHY]
yo, i aint never gunna let nothing get in the way
you play your cards all right you’re on A’s
you make my nights so bright you’re my days
you took me out of the maze
you are number one

see i don’t understand how you’re number one
when it was just a fling before now, you’re the one
see all i did was blink twice from my homie to my only
number one

you lift me off the ground
i always want you around
i ain’t gunna let nothing get in the way
ill never let nothing get in the way

you lift me off the ground
i always want you around
i ain’t gunna let nothing get in the way
ill never let nothing get in the way

you’re number one you’re in the race you’re a leader
girl you’re out of this world i cant see ya
and now you got a place in my heart
its funny how you actually went
from my homie to my only
number one

(Fuck all you hoes) Get a grip motherfucker.

Yeah, this album is dedicated to all the teachers that told me
I’d never amount to nothin’, to all the people that lived above the
buildings that I was hustlin’ in front of that called the police on
me when I was just tryin’ to make some money to feed my daughters,
and all the niggaz in the struggle, you know what I’m sayin’?

Uh-ha, it’s all good baby bay-bee, uh

[Verse One:]

It was all a dream
I used to read Word Up magazine
Salt’n’Pepa and Heavy D up in the limousine
Hangin’ pictures on my wall
Every Saturday Rap Attack, Mr. Magic, Marley Marl
I let my tape rock ‘til my tape popped
Smokin’ weed and bamboo, sippin’ on private stock
Way back, when I had the red and black lumberjack
With the hat to match
Remember Rappin’ Duke, duh-ha, duh-ha
You never thought that hip hop would take it this far
Now I’m in the limelight ‘cause I rhyme tight
Time to get paid, blow up like the World Trade
Born sinner, the opposite of a winner
Remember when I used to eat sardines for dinner
Peace to Ron G, Brucey B, Kid Capri
Funkmaster Flex, Lovebug Starsky
I’m blowin’ up like you thought I would
Call the crib, same number same hood
It’s all good

Uh, and if you don’t know, now you know, nigga, uh

[Chorus:]

You know very well who you are
Don’t let em hold you down, reach for the stars
You had a goal, but not that many
‘cause you’re the only one I’ll give you good and plenty

[Verse Two:]

I made the change from a common thief
To up close and personal with Robin Leach
And I’m far from cheap, I smoke skunk with my peeps all day
Spread love, it’s the Brooklyn way
The Moet and Alize keep me pissy
Girls used to diss me
Now they write letters ‘cause they miss me
I never thought it could happen, this rappin’ stuff
I was too used to packin’ gats and stuff
Now honies play me close like butter played toast
From the Mississippi down to the east coast
Condos in Queens, indo for weeks
Sold out seats to hear Biggie Smalls speak
Livin’ life without fear
Puttin’ 5 karats in my baby girl’s ears
Lunches, brunches, interviews by the pool
Considered a fool ‘cause I dropped out of high school
Stereotypes of a black male misunderstood
And it’s still all good

Uh…and if you don’t know, now you know, nigga

[Verse Three:]

Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis
When I was dead broke, man I couldn’t picture this
50 inch screen, money green leather sofa
Got two rides, a limousine with a chauffeur
Phone bill about two G’s flat
No need to worry, my accountant handles that
And my whole crew is loungin’
Celebratin’ every day, no more public housin’
Thinkin’ back on my one-room shack
Now my mom pimps a Ac’ with minks on her back
And she loves to show me off, of course
Smiles every time my face is up in The Source
We used to fuss when the landlord dissed us
No heat, wonder why Christmas missed us
Birthdays was the worst days
Now we sip champagne when we thirst-ay
Uh, damn right I like the life I live
‘Cause I went from negative to positive
And it’s all…

(It’s all good)

...and if you don’t know, now you know, nigga, uh
Uh, uh…and if you don’t know, now you know, nigga
Uh…and if you don’t know, now you know, nigga, uh

Representin’ B-Town in the house, Junior Mafia, mad flavor, uh
Uh, yeah, a-ight

I think i lost so much bcus i proper ate as little as i cud and i exercised Like MAD everyday!! :)

I haven’t been home much in the past few days. Been out alot with friends ..BUT i weighed myself this morning AND even tho i had burger king yesterday and half a roll the day before and a full roll the day before that :( :( ( I KNOW ..HELLO FATTY!) but anyway i lost NINE POUNDS THIS WEEK!!!!!!

im so happy :)!!!

I was throwing up all this morning and felt so weak so my mom cooked me food, I knew I had to eat it to feel better so I did. I’ve decided saturdays are going to be my days off and I’m allowed have up to 1000 calories that day :)
I had 2sausages which I think are 90 calories in each one? two slices of toast..84 cals per slice, half an egg, half a tin of beans and one rasher. 4squares of dark chocolate (30cals per chunk) so thats 120 calories.
So far today i’ve had..
120 + 180 + 168 + 66 + 42 + 30 = 606 calories

Its day five now and I’m SO hungover :( my head is banging but i had a really good night :) and i danced SO much that my whole body is in so much pain especially my legs and my feet :) so hopefully i burned off some calories :) :)

So yesterday i had a bowl of home made brocalli and potato soup(200?) with a tiny few amount of croutons(140). And a packet of chipsticks (136cals)

Is it true that green tea helps you lose weight ?
Cus I found some in the press and I’ve drank two cups alreadt this morning. So was wondering if that will help me ?

x

Its 6am and its the start of Day Four :) Really proud i’ve been sticking to it. Hopefully i’ll do well today.
Going for a run in a few minutes then i’ll come back and do some weights. Hope i don’t get too light headed.
I wish more people posted on this goal, i love reading on how other people are doing cus i can relate to them.
Have to weight until monday to weigh myself, i really want to do it later tho. Only been 3days tho i don’t think ill have lost enough and i’m scared to get on the scales too soon incase i disappoint myself.

Stay strong everyone. x

In one single moment your whole life can turn ‘round
I stand there for a minute starin straight into the ground
Lookin to the left slightly, then lookin back down
World feels like it’s caved in proper sorry frown
Please let me show you where we could only just be, for us
I can change and I can grow or we could adjust
The wicked thing about us is we always have trust
We can even have an open relationship, if you must
I look at him he stares almost straight back at me
But his eyes glaze over like he’s lookin straight through me
Then his eyes must have closed for what seems an eternity
When they open up he’s lookin down at his feet

Dry your eyes mate
I know it’s hard to take but his mind has been made up
There’s plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make him see how much this pain hurts
But you’ve got to walk away now
It’s over

So then I move my hand up from down by my side
It’s shakin, my life is crashin before my eyes
Turn the palm of my hand up to face the skies
Touch the bottom of his chin and let out a sigh
‘Cause I can’t imagine my life without you and me
There’s things I can’t imagine doin, things I can’t imagine seein
It weren’t supposed to be easy, surely
Please, please, I beg you please
He brings his hands up towards where my hands rested
He wraps his fingers round mine with the softness he’s blessed with
He peels away my fingers, looks at me and then gestures
By pushin my hand away to my chest, from his

Dry your eyes mate
I know it’s hard to take but his mind has been made up
There’s plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make him see how much this pain hurts
But you’ve got to walk away now
It’s over

And I’m just standin there, I can’t say a word
‘Cause everythin’s just gone
I’ve got nothin
Absolutely nothin

Tryin’ to pull his close out of bare desperation
Put my arms around him tryin’ to change what he’s sayin’
Pull my head level with his so he might engage in
Look into his eyes to make him listen again
I’m not gonna fuckin’, just fuckin’ leave it all now
‘Cause you said it’d be forever and that was your vow
And you’re gonna let our things simply crash and fall down
You’re well out of order now, this is well out of town
He pulls away, my arms are tightly clamped round his waist
Gently pushes me back and he looks at me straight
Turns around so he’s now got his back to my face
Takes one step forward, looks back, and then walks away

Dry your eyes mate
I know it’s hard to take but his mind has been made up
There’s plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make him see how much this pain hurts
But you’ve got to walk away now
It’s over

I know in the past I’ve found it hard to say
Tellin’ you things, but not tellin’ straight
But the more I pull on your hand and say
The more you pull away

Dry your eyes mate
I know it’s hard to take but his mind has been made up
There’s plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make him see how much this pain hurts
But you’ve got to walk away now.

So i ended up falling asleep after my last post which was around 8 o clock.I woke up at about 2am. Went down and ate half the bowl of pasta. Which was about 250 calories ? something of around there anyway.
Going to proper work out in the morning.I haven’t weighed myself since Monday.So im going to wait until this monday to weigh myself again and i swear if i haven’t lost any weight i will not be letting myself eat at all next week.

So i made it through last night without eating :) fell asleep this morning at 7am and woke up at lunchtime. Was so hungry, went downstairs and made the same meal i had yesterday. Pasta and tuna. I was so hungry but after a 3 or 4 small forkfulls i didn’t want anymore. I had a shower to pass some time a distract myself. Its 7 o clock now i’m getting kind of tired. Did no study again today. Annoyed about that. Need to focus on not eating tho.
Hungry now.
The pasta and tuna is downstairs in the fridge so i’m gonna stay in my room for another hour. Then eat half of it and go to bed early.

Cuz her last relationship fucked her up.
Got hurt majorly, finds it tough to trust.
Looked at the ashtray, then looked back up,
Spinnin it away on the tabletop.
She looked much fitter than saturday just.
She worked in JD’s with dan.
Back then I figured she was pretty damn rough,
But she was only wearin her work stuff.
And in these clothes she looked more than buff,
She stirred her straw, sat up to adjust.
I told her I thought it was important,
That you could get lost in conversation.
Chattin shit, sittin in, oblivion
With that person who’s your special one.
She said she was the worst pool player under the sun,
But blokes go easy so she always won.

I saw this THING on ITV the other week,
Said, that if she played with her hair, she’s probably keen
She’s playin with her hair, well regularly,
So i reckon i could well be in.

She didn’t look too bored with what I was sayin.
Her hair looked much better than the other day.
She had her fingers ‘round her hair, playin’.
I Saw on the telly that’s a good indication.
SHE DIDN’T OFFER to buy the next drink though, “Nay.”
Suppose that’s just A girl’s way.
Im tryin to think what else I could say,
Peelin’ the label off, spinnin the ashtray.
Yeah actually, yes, she did look pretty neat.
Her perfume smelled expensive and sweet.
I felt like my hair looked a bit cheap,
Wished I’d had it cut back last week.
She kept givin me this look, cuz she would speak.
Was she only friendly, or was she a keep?
Asked her if she wanted the same again to drink.
Started to turn and get up out my seat.

I saw this THING on ITV the other week,
Said, that if she played with her hair, she’s probably keen
She’s playin with her hair, well regularly,
So i reckon i could well be in.

She said that her close mates all were
Always the most important thing to her.
I said I thought it was a bit more blurred.
She asked what I meant by that as she stirred.
I told her about the money and what had occurred
With it goin missing from the living room, so.
With my best mates all there standin by,
Right where I left it, under their eyes.
So surely one of them might have spied
What happened to my money at that time.
I felt like they were all smilin on the side.
She was like “fair play” she couldn’t say why.
She didn’t know what all my mates were like.
And I said she just might be right.
Wish I had someone I could always rely,
Someone to get lost chattin to all night.

I saw this THING on ITV the other week,
Said, that if she played with her hair, she’s probably keen
She’s playin with her hair, well regularly,
So i reckon i could well be in.

As I walked back with more drinks to our place,
She had her phone stuck to the side of her face.
I sat for a minute while she chatted away
‘bout somethin with her mom and her birthday.
Played for a bit with the same ashtray,
Thought about things while i sat and waited.
It was nice to chat about the shit in my head,
Someone who just listens to you instead.
I looked at the barman, wiping down again,
Looked at the football on the tv set,
Tryin to look like i weren’t just waitin there
For her conversation to come to an end.
I look at my watch and realized right then
That, for three hours, been in conversation.
Before she put her phone down, she switched to silent,
And we carried on chattin for more than that again.

I saw this THING on ITV the other week,
Said, that if she played with her hair, she’s probably keen
She’s playin with her hair, well regularly,
So i reckon i could well be in.

I saw this THING on ITV the other week,
Said, that if she played with her hair, she’s probably keen
She’s playin with her hair, well regularly,
So i reckon i could well be in.

I don’t know if I can yell any louder
How many time have I kicked you outta here?
Or said something insulting?

I can be so mean when I wanna be
I am capable of really anything
I can cut you into pieces
When my heart is….broken

Please don’t leave me
Please don’t leave me
I always say how I don’t need you
But it’s always gonna come right back to this
Please, don’t leave me

How did I become so obnoxious?
What is it with you that makes me act like this?
I’ve never been this nasty
Can’t you tell that this is all just a contest?
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest
But baby I don’t mean it
I mean it, I promise

Da da da-da da
Please don’t leave me
Da da da-da da
Please don’t leave me
Da da da-da da
I always say how I don’t need you
But it’s always gonna come right back to this
Please, don’t leave me
[Please Don’t Leave Me Lyrics On http://www.elyricsworld.com/ ]
I forgot to say out loud how beautiful you really are to me
I can’t be without, you’re my perfect little punching bag
And I need you, I’m sorry.

Da da da da, da da da da
da da da da-da da
Please, please don’t leave me

Baby please don’t leave me
No, don’t leave me
Please don’t leave me no no no
You say I don’t need you but it’s always gonna come right back,
It’s gonna come right back to this.
Please, don’t leave me.
No.
No, don’t leave me
Please don’t leave me, oh no no no.
I always say how I don’t need you
But it’s always gonna come right back to this

Please don’t leave me
Please don’t leave me

Dear J,
It kills me knowing that you spend so much time with her. It kills me knowing that you’d rather spend time with her than me. I try to pretend like i don’t care anymore but that’s not true. I do care. I’ve always cared. I never stopped caring. I wish you could see that. I wish you would come see me one last time. I wish you wern’t such an asshole. I wish she didnt exist. I wish we never broke up. I miss you and its killing me inside you have no idea.

Love your baby, mousey, x

I do this everyday , Don’t think I could go out of the house with out one.

DO YOU THINK DREAMS MEAN ANYTHING ????

It was the first movie I watched with Jason while we wer snuggled up in bed. I had my head on his chest and could hear his heart beating..was the most amazing thing ever x