radiantbeth

i started writing in middle school, carrying my journal with me through the entire day and writing whenever i got a chance. in high school, friends and classmates signed my yearbooks saying they can’t wait to read my book one day. my aunt, the avid reader, was among the ones who vocally expressed this. no talk of what the book would be about, though. only occassionally would a poetry book be referenced and i knew in my heart that it would happen. now, i’m not so sure, but it’s still a goal that i hold close, even if it’s not one i feel inclined to actively work towards at this moment. it’ll happen. i have a ‘happy’ feeling whenever i think about it.

for as long as i can remember, this has been my goal in life. my singular, most important goal that i can reach every single day. fortunately, i succeed most of the time. :) it encompasses being positive, it encompasses smiling as often as you can (and doing so unconsciously), and well… everything that you can think of that might help in accomplishing this goal. every little thing has the potential to make you happy. right now, it’s leaning my head on Raef as he lies on the back of the chair. i’m happy.

yep, we’ve even set a date, but have done absolutely no planning. oh yeah, and the date we set? it’s in 7 months. thing is, i’m not freaking out and am wondering if i should be. well, if i had the money to spend, i’d be more gung-ho and probably have it all ready and perfect. ;) we don’t even really want the ‘traditional’ fling, but something unique or at least representative of who we are. why should this special day be dictated by a tradition that we can’t relate to? with all of my goals, it seems, i just wish i knew the right person. otherwise, i just need a close girlfriend here in town with me. :(