radtech2

I wish that things had not come this far…it hurts to feel that I have failed and that jack is really not going to get any better…Today he had a major bust up with his dad, and he was on the verge of being thrown out because of his treatment of me. I really didn’t see why he should be sitting on the computer playing games or sleeping and demanding that I find him clean underwear when the washing machine was full of it and needed just to be hung out to dry…All he had to do was to ask if they needed hanging out and hung out a few pairs himself instead of waiting for me to do it. I work full- time and shifts to boot, so keeping up with the house as well isn’t easy…a little help here and there would be very much appreciated…but no-one seems to see that…even now he won’t co-operate- he asked me to cook and then left the food to go off…
There is no simple solution to the problem-I really wish there was as I can’t cope anymore…

...Welcome to my thoughts….This is the one time in the day when I can actually sit and talk about what I feel at the moment…It is a time when I just want to sit alone and think about how I am going to make things better for all of us, be it alone or with help. There are time when I want just to take the long road away and stop somewhere and just cry…when I feel better I will go back home and then maybe things will be ok. Sometimes, talking to a friend helps, but at times like this, I like my own company best. I have much to think about at the moment and I don’t even know where to start. I hope that I can find my way out somehow…

.....i will finally get the time to get through this house with any real degree of effectiveness? The house is big and old, and gets so dusty due to its location- fields around it- so this makes for a lot more work than I can cope with! plus the fact that I am working full- time shifts with all their inconveniences and two kids who are not inclined to help the situation at all, each with their own brand of untidiness…seems like this is a doomed goal from the start, but I will not be beaten- I will write out a schedule and do what I can to stick to it!!