raslalique

If I see 2010 the word I want to use is “FOCUS”.

This year my word is “do”. It has helped a lot and I see the many areas in which my life has improved as a result. However, my progress has been patchy. Yesterday morning it came to me that this was because I wasn’t focused on what it is I was doing very much. Sometimes I even do things that won’t necessarily help me. Other times I did things just to do them. Sometimes I never did them as well as I could have. I have to fix that little problem.

Curried chickpea and spinach. I would not count this as a full meal since the spinach is the only new thing in this recipe. It was my first time cooking actual spinach. I have always had callaloo which is our green leafy vegetable (or more accurately herb).

Vegetarian gumbo

Today I wore a pair of beautiful shoes I had been hoarding for one year. They were always too pretty or flashy or expensive to wear but today I just forced myself to wear them.

I have not been true to myself on this goal in the past. I have made some progress but I know I have not been doing my best.

1. No spending on anything other than food, bills, toiletries, donations, services and events until January 2010 (that’s six months time). That should give me enough time to use up most of the things I have fully. I joined up with a friend on this goal. I hope this helps.
2. I have decided to make things using only my current stash of material.

Here is a photo of some dreadlock jewellery I made using wire I have had in my stash for years because I didn’t know what to do with it.

I have fallen off course. I am re-committing myself to this goal. My life won’t change into what I want it to be unless I DO.

Vegetarian whole wheat pasta.

I have had some moments where I lost sight of this goal but I am back on track. I have seen the quality of my life improving each time I “DO” something instead of just thinking about it or putting it off until later.

WEST AFRICAN BLACK EYE PEAS

16 oz raw black eye peas
8 cups water
1 teaspoon salt
1/8 cup canola oil
1 onion, chopped
3 carrots
2 Irish potatoes
spices and herbs
1 1/2 teaspoon curry powder

make a stew
1 teaspoon paprika

So here’s what my hair looks like now.

Sometimes I feel this overwhelming need to be a part of something much bigger than myself. I get caught up in this feeling and my life and accomplishments seem pointless and meaningless. I keep waiting for something big to happen, some “moment” to arrive and fill me with its significance.

I will do my best in the here and now to bloom where I am planted. I can’t live in suspended animation any longer. I have to appreciate the mundane as well as the majestic.

I am still not going as well as I would have liked but I still am doing something. I give myself credit for starting over each and every time instead of throwing in the towel and giving up when I fail. I am currently researching ways that others have successfully overcome procrastination. I have missed out on a lot of opportunities and I don’t want to miss out on any more.

Stir fry with black beans.

Stewed red kidney beans and rice.

Chick pea curry.

It is cutting down my tendency to procrastinate or laze about or miss out on new experiences.

I realised this week that I am overly hard on myself. I am a perfectionist.

This habit makes me judge the performance of myself and others too harshly and set unrealistic goals. I feel horrible even when I am 90% successful at a task. I think about why I couldn’t get 100% of it done.

This habit works well in school but it makes your life I wreck. I am being more gentle with myself now.

I have to have faith that abandoning my perfectionist ways will not make me lose my eye for detail nor will it make me a “lazy slacker”.

Curried green lentils.

15. You seem to be convinced you were on the bus at the time but I am certain it was you I saw walk past here at 2:30.

12. Most crossing-overs are painful…
13. OLDER LADY: It shouldn’t be a concern of yours whether or not I want the young man. He is not your son or your son-in-law.
OLDER DRUNK MAN: Oh really?! How you know he isn’t my step-son?
14. You know my cousin and good friend needs a lawyer and I thought of you. He got himself involved in a little murder thing.